I had a long chat with a friend the other day. We were discussing why our circle of friends seem to be unhappy with their current career path. And why there is an explosion of self-help books in the market. Not just self-help books, but self-help seminars, home-working courses, how to earn your million in 30 days etc. If you frequent the self-help sections in a book store, or if flipping through the papers, you get caught by headlines such as “even you can be an entrepreneur”, or “how i made my millions on the internet”, or “i quit my day job, so can you”, you will know what i’m talking about. And because of the abundance in supply, seminars often offer the first teaser session totally free!

I wouldn’t like to admit to be a sucker for these things, but deep down, I think there is a part of me hoping that the solution might just be in the next book I read, or in the next seminar I attend, or in the next “big thing” I stumble upon. It’s like buying a lottery ticket religiously everyday, and hoping one day you will strike the jackpot. Sadly, the incessant search for the magic formula is draining away precious time – the time you use to queue up to buy the lottery ticket and key in the magic numbers could be better spent elsewhere doing more productive things. So why are we still doing it? Do these so called self-help materials actually work? Did it work for you? Or do you believe they are a scam?

There is no short of self-help materials out there now. The saturation in the market must mean that people are actually wanting these materials and actively seeking them out to buy them. By using their hard-earned money on these materials, they are actually placing a vote each time the buy. They vote that the material is useful to them, or at least meet their need.

But what is this need? Are they really trying to help themselves? Help themselves to achieve something they’ve always wanted but haven’t got the courage? Why are we even asking these questions? Would your parents have asked these same questions when they were young? Would your parents wish that they had access to these materials when they were young?

I think, they secretly do. Why else would they prize education above all things for their children? I think they secretly wished that someone could have guided them to avoid those dark alleys in their early life. And here I present the real problem. It is the very education that we have received which is crippling us today. The education we have received has taught and trained us to be very good at what we do. Beyond that, we are the helpless seeking for self-help.

We can’t change our past. The only education you can have in your younger years are the ones you have received. That much is certain. But, we can change how we use the education we have received. I think that is what the self-help materials are trying to do – to re-educate us. However, rather than expecting the self-helps to be the magic formula that you can follow word for word, try to treat it as a guide. You only need to heed its words, but since you are the one walking the path, you need to base it on your own education, on your own beliefs, the beliefs you have personally experienced in your own way and not someone else’s way.

I strongly believe that you are who you are today because you are meant to be who you are today. It wouldn’t happen any other way. This is not a surrender to Fate. But because of the conscious and unconscious choices you have made throughout your life, you have become who you are today.

So today, you choose to pick a self-help book. You read it. You understand it. You plan to do something about it. And yet it always doesn’t work. You might think you probably didn’t follow closely enough. Or you probably wasn’t patient enough. Strong enough. Discipline enough. Not good at time management etc… Just not that type of person. That, actually is the point. You are NOT that person in the self-help books. You are YOU! The books can only be a guide. You are still the master of yourself.

So choose YOU. Allow others to be your guide, but remember that yourSELF is the most important ingredient in SELF-help materials. The solutions suggested in self-help materials must be tailored to YOU, and the only tailor I know qualified to do that is… YOU. :)