Guides to life
The conflict is in my perspective
Recently, my job has taken me to unfamiliar environments. It feels unfamiliar because everything is outside my comfort zone. Before accepting the job, I thought it might be a challenge to take it on. Now and again, I come to think that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. The frequency of this thought is increasing with each passing day.
While talking about this with colleagues and friends, I have been thinking hard if it’s the job that’s the problem. Ok, there’s plenty of work. That’s just a matter of managing it. The people around are ok, the normal office crowd. I think the more fundamental problem is the weak internal processes, which everyone is trying to fight on a daily basis. Correcting the internal processes takes a lower priority than doing a quick fix. That is why all these problems are surfacing at this point, after more than a decade in business!! The high staff turnover is quite likely due to the eruption of problems which have been simmering over the decade. Now that the stew is ready, the problems decide to leave the pot.
There’s two ways to look at this. A lot of problems means plenty of opportunities - the positive attitude. The negative part of me will say “there’s too many problems to be solved alone”. Of course, I don’t have to solve it alone, but the 2 sides remain, whether to stay and fight, or to stray and take flight.
Ultimately, the conflict lies in my perspective.
Should I just choose a view and stick to it? Whether or not it’s positive or negative, it’s still a view, and I can stop moaning to you about it. Or is there a third way? One that bypasses these 2 views altogether, making them irrelevant?
The question was not as easy as I thought, because the rebel in me would always want a third way, an elegant solution where problems would just fall on way’s side with a master’s stroke - the mathematician inside me likes the beauty in elegant solutions.
So, let’s phrased the question in a different way. What if I decide to start a family? Will my decision change then? Will I still be looking for a third way? Or will I just fight on because I don’t have time to think about these problems and search for the elegant solution?
Phrasing the initial question differently does not solve the problem. But it does focus your efforts on what really is important. I think there’s a bit of fire in me that think life is so much more than worrying about whether or not this is my fight. I say “a bit of fire” because i feel the flame is getting smaller by the day. The conflict in me is feeding on the fire, and I’ll need to refuel it often just to keep up.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the fire can just be let burn without adding fuel to it?
Could that be the elegant solution I’m looking for? Could that be the solution to so much of our problems? By looking for an open space where fire can be fire and burn as brightly as it’s supposed to burn? By looking for an environment where I can be who I am and let me flourish? It sounds like i’ve just stumbled upon the solution!
Now, all I need is to hunt for this open space, or create this open space myself. Ideas welcomed. 
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7 comments for “The conflict is in my perspective”
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It seems to me that you take everything to heart and feel that you have to solve all the problems at work. Is that accurate?
If so, then I recommend that you learn to distance yourself from all that. Don’t you just hate those people that are never phased by what happens at work? It’s like they don’t care. I decided to join them, and my quality of life has gone up tremendously.
It’s not my or your job to save the company. If the boss is too stupid, then let the company fold and move on.
I now do my work and call it a day. When people ask me what I think about things and how the company is doing, I tell them I don’t have an opinion. It never made a difference anyway. I just do the work in front of me.
It feels great not carrying the compnay on your shoulders. Trust me.
wow.. sorry to hear about all the troubles, man. I went thru a similar thing until my son was born. Nothing like the birth of your own child to put things into perspective. What’s the point of working like a nut and being so stressed out that by the time I get home, I can’t really enjoy my home or family b/c of work?
While I haven’t gotten to the point where I don’t get phased by things, I’m slowly trying to put my priorities in order.
Thanks for the comments guys. I didn’t expect it to sound as bad as I wrote it. One thing good is, I’m doing tai chi more diligently just to balance the stress.
Hope things are working out better for you even as we speak!
I found for myself that pretty much all jobs have points where you go outside of your comfort zone, no matter what you do. I guess the real question for me during those times was ‘was it worth it?’ The answer was actually dependant on something I didn’t have, and left a bigger hole, which was ‘what do I want?’ I attended this Life Planning seminar, and the types of questions that we were told to ask ourselves were: “If I had all the money in the world, what would I be doing?” or “What do I want my obituary to read?”…you know..cliched stuff like that. But once you realize where you really want to go, and create that life plan, not just for your career, but for all aspects of life (career, family, knowledge etc.) and make it congruent, then all of a sudden you should find that your job is a means to that end, so even if the going gets tough, you realize that its all part of a bigger effort to reach the top of my mountain…kind of like someone who’s trying to win a gold medal in running…they probably don’t love the training 24/7/365, but they put up with it because they have an end plan, and are willing to sacrifice a bit to get it.
Just some random thoughts…:)
-Oas
Yup Oas, the key is answering “what do I want”, which is still eluding me. Do you know what you want?
I think so…it definitely took me a while to figure it out though, and I would be lying if I said that I don’t have to revise my life goals every now and then, but I’m finding that my tweaks are getting less and less major and don’t take away from my overall goals in life. It’s kind of a powerful feeling once you get there, but I can’t speak too soon…you never know when you can get humbled by a change in the winds
Hi Shang Lee.
Ive read your post and i sympthise. My company is also very similar. Poor internal process, lousy managers, but the fact of the matter is most SMEs in singapore are like this.
If you want systems, empowerment, process then you need to join a MNC.
You are right to say that its all about your perspective, its up to you. Let me tell you in most situations you are facing, people will:
a) bitch about the process or boss etc and do nothing.
b) do nothing and just go with the flow to earn their pay cheque.
c) want to do something and get fustrated and leave.
My article at http://www.sgentrepreneurs.com is for a 4th option, which is you decide to stay and want to be sucessful in such an environment.
Ultimatly, you are correct to say that the decision is yours. But you also need to be aware what is good or bad is a matter of perspective as well. A labourer sweating in the sun every day would probably love to have this job of yours.
Many of my friends are shift workers, cooks, technicians, and they always envy me that I sit behind a desk in air con.
Anyways good luck in your decision.