The Journey Within

A normal response for a puddle, for me anyway, is to jump over it, and hope that my leap will be long enough to avoid the splash from the puddle. And then, there’s always that bit of puddle that you just couldn’t avoid. Your leap may be in the wrong direction. The puddle was wider than you thought. The shape of the puddle wasn’t what you thought it was. It’s a deeper puddle than you thought it was! And a more sensible solution? Just walk slowly through the puddle. No splash, and with good soles, you won’t even get your shoes wet. So why run when walking is all you need?

Everyone’s running. Running for the bus. Running for the train. Running for presidency. Running to keep up with the boss. Running to climb the corporate ladder. Running to keep fit. Running to win the race. Running a business. Running a country. Running from a looney dog. Running away.

Has speed been such an evolutionary advantage that the mere word “running” has evolved into so many uses? Could we survive without speed?

Without the speed of the sperm, we might not even be here today! So from that angle, speed does play a role. But speed can’t be the solution to all things. Moving faster can’t be the solution to everything. If you’re leader of the pack, if your pack can’t keep up, there will be no one to lead!

Growing too fast without the associated wisdom will also be disastrous. You’d probably have heard of the child prodigy who’s unable to fit into the class he’s in. Even a country that’s running towards an ideal political structure will face backlash from all parties.

All the running will only be good if your body can keep up. All the running will only be good if the rest of the company can keep up. If the rest of the students can keep up. If the rest of the country can keep up.

So why not try walking. It may do you some good. Your knee cap will thank you for it. And after your knee cap is strengthened, you will be able to run faster!

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Bookmarks, the conventional kind. The one sandwiched between what you have read and what you haven’t. A simple little thing, and yet this simple thing provides an instant memory aid – telling you where have you stopped in the story.

It doesn’t tell you why did you stop there in the first place. But it may give you a clue if you read the pages holding your bookmark. Your may have reached your stop, and you have to get off the bus. You may have to think about what was said in the previous chapter / paragraph / sentence. You may be tired. Your dog might require feeding. YOU might require feeding. Someone else needs your attention. You are just bored with the book.

Bookmarks are there to cope with all these reasons, and more. The name has now evolved to mean a link on the internet – a website which you would like to remember and possibly come back to. The various reasons are quite similar to having a conventional bookmark between book pages. A special trait about websites is that they might be updated, hence why you want to revisit them.

So, bookmarks are quite a useful thing, if you read a book, or if you use the internet, which i’ll assume you do since you are reading this now! Bookmarks are there to let you have one less thing to remember. Bookmarks are there to tell you that the place you stop is probably quite important, which means it’s worth a revisit.

In life, we also need bookmarks. We need these sign posts to tell us where we are, where have we been, and where we want to be. These bookmarks in life are quite important because with them, we can take a breather and reflect on the past, the present and use these bookmarks as a guide for the future.

These bookmarks are not meant to be pit stops – where you have to race through life, and only stop for fuel and a change of tyres. These bookmarks are placed consciously by you and you alone. You choose which chapter of your life that you want to bookmark. You choose what’s most important to you to bookmark. You don’t choose your pit stops.

Your life story is unfolding as you read this. It just flows whether you are aware of it or not. It just carries on whether you want it to or not. The challenge is not to stop the flow. It’s a futile exercise. The challenge is to know where to place your bookmarks. Place them where you think it’s important to you, keeping in mind that importance may change as you move further into your life story.

Revisit your bookmarks now and again. Reflect on them. Try to remember why you bookmarked them in the first place. You will need them to write your own future. The main difference between placing a bookmark in a book and placing a bookmark in your life story is that you are the author of your life story. So bookmark wisely, your remaining life story depends on them.

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I am a prime number,
I exist so that other numbers can exist.

I work with other prime numbers,
to make up any other number you can think of.

I am unique,
and yet I do well as a team.

I don’t let the other numbers down,
because I am unique.

So I celebrate my uniqueness,
by being a prime number.

Yet people are still trying to figure out,
why am I unique. Continue reading »

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I was so looking forward to the book fair organised by the library to sell off their old books. I guess my efforts to wake up early pales in comparison to the people that have already formed what seemed to be the endless legs of a caterpillar. And that was before it opened! To be fair, all books were selling at $2 per book, hence the crowd.

I tried to weave into the crowd, but I guess the tapestry that is human just proved to be too stubborn. Instead of fighting, I went to sections where there were less people. This was where I came across a book, the only book that I bought in the fair. With a title like Writing as a Healing Art, it just hooked me right from the start.

I haven’t finish reading it yet, but it did prompt me to revisit why I started this blog in the first place. When I first started out, it was meant to be a reminder. To remind me of the things that are important in life, to make me more aware of the things that are important in life. It slowly evolved into an outlet for my mind, a place to park my thoughts. Sometimes, it’s also a place for discussion with others. Sometimes, it’s just pure fun.

With the ever changing identity of the blog, why do I keep writing? Why do YOU keep writing? Is there a reason for the constant chatter in the blogosphere that requires your fingers’ attention to tap out what you’re thinking on the keyboard? To let others have a piece of your mind? Or could it be to find peace of mind?

Writing can heal. This is what the book suggests. Writing connects yourself with your mind. It allows you to express what you didn’t know about yourself, if you let it. The braver you are, the more you’ll find out about yourself, the more you can heal yourself.

I think this is what I’ve been trying to do, unconsciously. I’ve been using the blog to heal myself, by allowing my thoughts to run freely, more freely than it can in the brain. I guess when your thoughts are inside, they are just caged up and rattle randomly inside. Sometimes, some part of it gets let out but then there’s nothing coherent about the escapees. Through writing, you commit yourself to let it out and stay out. To stand up to scrutiny in the outside world. Not anyone’s scrutiny, but your own scrutiny. We are a prison of our own thoughts, unless we are willing to release the prisoners, they will just be serving a life-long sentence with no chance to ever get a pardon. Now that just sounds like a very cruel thing to do to yourself!

So if you’ve ever wanted to start your blog, please do so. If you don’t like the “publicity”, just start your own personal journal in a diary, like the good old days. Just remember to write. Allow yourself at least the chance to know yourself better. Who knows, when trying to know yourself better, you can then start healing yourself, and healing others in the process!

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Music and rhythm. Do you find it helps your tai chi? Do you just have to have music in order to do tai ji or can make do without it?

My regular tai ji class normally plays some soothing music in the background. During the class, I don’t actually realise it’s there, but i think it helps in calming and slowing down the movements. It’s a push hand class, so it probably can keep everyone from getting too “enthusiastic” in pushing!

Being in the park this morning, there’s a group of tai chi class which moves to the beat of the music. Everyone started the form when the music started, and finished the form when the music stopped. And then there’s this other group who only made some “grunts”. I think it’s some sort of “qi gong” method. All they did were some “aw”ing and “ooo”ing.

So what role does music play in your tai chi? Do you do it to the rhythm? Does it relax you? Or do you literally use music as a training method?

In the midst of all the different music going on in the park, I find my senses tuned in most to the rustling of the leaves, the chirping of the birds, the whistling of the insects. The quieter the mind, the louder they are. Now, that’s music.

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I’ve been struggling with the “peng” jin and can’t quite find the right balance between Peng and Muscle. Peng, it seems should have a balloon like quality to it – soft when in contact with something, but strong in terms of the quality of the expansion. It’s the soft and strong that i’m trying to grasp. When I try to be soft, or more accurately be relaxed, the hand tends to be “limp”. When I try to be strong, the hand just becomes stiff with little flexibility in the wrist, elbow, shoulder. Trying to find the balance is, erm, difficult (which i think is an understatement!).

The speed at which you train your form seems to help with honing this quality. The slower it is, the better you can feel the quality of “soft and strong”. However, the leg will take its toll and thus shortening the training time.

Seems like training leg strength, relaxed kua, relaxed limbs etc must all come at the same time! I think that’s probably one reason why form training is preferred over standing pole exercises (zhan zhuang). My current teacher made this point when i first started training with him. I’m pleasantly surprised when chessman made the same point in his post.

So back to form training…

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