The Journey Within

Pregnant woman on the train, should I get up and free my seat for her? The thing is, I wasn’t sure if she’s pregnant or not. It might be a very embarassing moment for both of us! Then the guy beside me just got up and left without saying a word or signalling that the seat is for her. He was actually standing up because his stop was here. But it is an interesting strategy nevertheless! It doesn’t offend her and allow the “pregnant” woman to make her choice. Fantastic!

Teaching tai ji requires a similar strategy. Instead of saying you are wrong, the teacher said, I prefer it if it’s done like this. I’m not planning to teach (not anytime soon anyway!) but it’s interesting to observe how a teacher teaches, to see what kind of strategy he goes about to make the student understand. It’s always the “win-win” strategy (like the above pregnant woman strategy) that always wins – do not strike at the ego, and yet allow the person to make his/her own choice.

Have you seen any examples of such strategies in your class (be it tai ji or otherwise) or in life? Please share it here!

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I borrowed this expression from a chinese book * I am currently reading, only to find it ironic to find it in a book! “Two-legged bookshelf” refers to people (the bipeds – hence two-legged) who stores plenty of knowledge, but do not put those knowledge into good use. Hence these people only serve as storage, or bookshelf.

I have to say I am also guilty of being a two-legged bookshelf, although I don’t think I have that many books in the shelf! So why the thirst of knowledge? Why collect all these knowledge when it’s only going to be stored on the bookshelf? Maybe one day, these can be good “reference” material? One day, when the time is right, the knowledge will be available to be used? If that’s the case, I don’t think I have a very good reference system to recall that piece of knowledge when required!

There are 2 questions here.

1. Why collect in the first place?
2. How to impose a good reference system?

1. Why collect in the first place?

The main reason? Just because it’s easy to do so!

We just “collect”. The brain is used as a sponge whether we like it or not. We are an “equal opportunities” collector. We indiscriminately collect all information from all our senses. The obvious ones which are forced down our throat (sometimes literally!) are advertisements ranging from billboards, to pamphlets, to food samples, to word of mouth, to TV/radio ads etc.

The active collection that we make are through the news we read/listen/watch, the books we choose to read, the shops we choose to go into, the people we choose to talk to etc.

We most likely have an unconscious set of rules within us on what to collect, so saying that we indiscriminately collect is a bit misleading. But based on our internal rules, e.g. I think pink is the new black and my eyes will be drawn to anything pink, we do not care what the source is so long as it’s pink!

Given the ease of collection, no wonder we are tempted to collect! So what do we do with all these collections? If they’re meant to be useful, they’ll be useful only if we can retrieve them when we need them!

2. How to impose a good reference system?

So, if you have decided it’s worth collecting, it must also be worth setting up a good reference system as well. If you do not think you are ever going to retrieve them, why collect in the first place?

I find that action-based reference system is a good reference system. To use learning Tai Ji as an example, I do not want to be just a “forms-collector”, a person who learns one form after another and says he has learnt Tai Ji. That is why I go to a push-hands class to gain some practical application of the theory. Any action based on theory will reinforce the theory and make you understand the theory. And when the theory is understood, it can be applied when you need it – voila, a good reference system!

Ok… where exactly are you leading me?

I guess this is to remind me not to be a two-legged bookshelf. To remind me to have the wisdom to seek out knowledge in a more active manner. Reading about business ideas is fine but not doing anything about it is not. Reading about great people changing lives is fine, but pure idolising is not enough. I am sure there must be something I can do with all the knowledge, so action is key. And my next action is to click “publish” and hope that will encourage you to take some action as well!

* Currently reading on Yi Jing Management (大易管理） or more commonly known as I Ching – The book of changes, as applied to the business world.

p/s: I’m getting plenty of influences from the book Getting Things Done, and I can’t help but recommend that book to you. Hope you’ll enjoy it too.

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In the spirit of changing personalities (see previous post), I thought I highlight this beautiful account of the Way of Tea.

This person has described tea as moving meditation (not unlike tai ji at all!). She has also described how her behaviour has changed by following the Way of Tea, by having a “tea mind” in everything she does.

The philosophy behind having a simple cup of tea following the Way of Tea has much in common with the philosophy of Tai Ji. Have a read and I hope it’s something you find interesting as well.

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It’s not everyday I come across a fundamental change in a person in such a short space of time. This was the guy who treated the push hand exercise as a free sparring exercise (see previous article). The past few times I’ve pushed with him, his hand had lightened up. You can see the restrain he placed on himself by not trying to use force to win. Pushing with him was still aggressive, but this time, I believe both sides are benefitting.

A more surprising change was his personality. Not only was his hand lighter, but his whole demeanour was lighter as well. He is speaking up more, and he’s more open now to speak about his mistakes. We actually discussed how to improve as we push each other around. This was such a positive improvement that I felt happy for him, and for others as well since we’ll still need push and learn from him.

So there you go, push hands can change your personality. You heard it here first! Or maybe you’ve got similar stories as well, where tai ji has helped changed a person’s personality, for the better I hope! Do share it here.

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