The diverse Life

Dealing with email farts

And i’m not even talking about spam. Spam you can delete. You know straightaway that it’s a spam. Even the anti-spam software knows that it’s a spam (most of the time). I’m talking about the email that you just have to read because it’s from someone who has something to say, but what he said doesn’t really add any value to the email discussion. In fact, it creates negative value!

It’s a definite time waster - not just for one person, but for all the people under the CC list. And then some of these people may ponder over why he said what he said, second guessing each word, phrase, commas etc - another example of time wasting. And then there might be some discussion among ourselves on why he said what he said. And then there might be those who will actually reply a non-email with another non-email, stating what has already been said but using different words. And this non-email will get circulated to the same bunch of people, people who had just about had it with the first wave of email fart, when the next wave comes gushing in. And as with all farts go, there’s no where to run.

So how do we deal with this?

We can’t just hold our breath - it’s normally too late by the time you realise you have to hold your breath, or in this case, stop reading. You can’t ignore it either, because you’ll have to read it in the first place to know that it’s an email fart.

The best way is to actually prevent the fart from ever happening. Otherwise, I would suggest the following “remedies”:

1. Stuck a cork into “it”

Ok, you can’t actually do that physically (well, you can, but i don’t think it’s legal - you’ll probably violate some “bodily harm” act), but you can always block this person’s email.

2. Shield it

You can always try to shield a fart. You can always rely on other people who has more time than yourself to deal with the email fart. By the time the email has gone through several rounds of people, the first wave of the fart should have dispersed, leaving you with a less potent email which you can just move straight to the recycle bin.

3. Shame them

Social pressure normally works, if you have the guts. Write a condescending email to the sender. Say on a Richter scale how much fart he has released into the virtual world. Say how much time you have wasted reading his email. And say how much you could have earned during that period. If he’s your boss, write a resignation letter as well. I doubt you’re going stay very long with the company.

4. If you can’t beat them, join them

Sometimes, you just have to join them, and fart along. See who’s fart is loudest or more potent. I suggest you have some fun at this point. Don’t take it too seriously.

© 2008 shang lee . com.