Life around Us

A child’s defense mechanism

As I learn about defending using Tai Ji, a child taught me about her defense mechanism. We were eating ice-cream, and suddenly, she waved a spoon of ice-cream in the air and said:

“This is where my dad is…” and moving her spoon to the left,

“This is where my mum is…” and imagined feeding each of them ice-cream.

The background to this child’s family is this - her dad is working in UK, and her mum is doing the same in US. And we’re in Singapore. It’s obvious that their daughter misses them dearly. In a bid to externalise this feeling, she used ice-cream.

I believe this is the power of imagination, the power of the sub-conscious mind. Even though you’re not thinking about it consciously, you’re allowing your sub-conscious mind free reign to do what it has to do, to keep your conscious mind free to do what it has to do. In this child’s case, her sub-conscious mind allows her to miss her parents, and her conscious mind allows her to eat the ice-cream.

Her plight may appear to be a sad one, but she is coping with it so well that I feel weak compared to this child. So here is a thank you note to her, and hope her family situation will improve. In the mean time, we can always do our part to make her feel less lonely, like bringing her out to eat ice-cream.

© 2008 shang lee . com.