If you’re a beginner, maybe this question wouldn’t be too intimidating. But for someone learning it for some time (more than a good few years), I find it somewhat timid to say how long I’ve been doing it. I hastily add “on and off” just to qualify my lack of understanding on tai ji. I might be too harsh a critic on my own progress, but “on and off” is true though.

Why the fear of answering this question? Fear of showing how much I don’t know? Fear of justifying why haven’t I learnt the basics after so long? Fear that someone might find out i’m a fraud?

I guess the answer is all of the above, and probably more. I normally try not to answer the question, and do an evasive manoeuvre if I can.

Trying to recall the years I’ve learnt Tai Ji, it doesn’t add up to the result i’m getting today. I put it down to lack of constant practice. Then I tried pushing myself through fixed regime practising, like how many cycles of silk-reeling, how many times a form is performed etc – it didn’t work. The regime soon became too structured that I wasn’t feeling anything and I began doing it for the sake of meeting the regime quota. It didn’t feel right.

I didn’t meet with a lot of like-minded people so that I can enter into a “penis-measuring contest” (which is a very interesting post from Dave!), but I am in a contest, where I’m the only contestant, to see if I can last the regime I set out for myself.

I’m glad to have found a teacher who teaches me to feel again, rather than to focus on how many times you do it. Practice is still important, but as Dave puts it, quality of practice trumps quantity. The question on “how long have you learnt tai ji” does not tell you much about the skill of a practitioner. He or she will have to show you, either through form, or push hands for some real tai ji.

Conclusion? This question is irrelevant. Just show me the Tai Ji!