Life around Us
Awakened by a beginner
Everybody’s a beginner at some point in their life. And the goal of the beginner? To be the opposite of a beginner - to be an expert. While everyone is a beginner at some point, they do so with the aim of not being one in the future. Unfortunately, life’s lessons are not always delivered like that. You do not begin to end. You begin because you believe in something, and you want to test out that belief. Although the initial goal may seem obvious at the time of beginning, the end result might not be what you actually plan to achieve.
Having said that, it’s quite refreshing to see a beginner coming into class. You look at him as though you were looking at yourself, some time back. You look at his clumsiness, his confusion, his eagerness to look the part while not making a fool of himself…
Then I realise that all these characteristics are still present within myself, only more subtle. You see, the beginner exaggerates the mistakes, the discomfort. Over the years, I have learnt to mask some of those discomfort. Some muscles have built up to defend the discomfort, making me appear to have “got it” when in fact I haven’t. I’ve only learnt how to appear to have “got it”.
The beginner then showed me the true me, as though I was looking at a truth mirror (sounds very much like The Mirror of Erised, if you’re a Potter Fan). The beginner lets me know that I’m also still a beginner. We are both trying to understand something that’s unfamiliar. The interpretation of the unfamiliar may be different, but we are essentially seeking some kind of knowledge and understanding. I face the same frustrations as the beginner, although it maybe at a different level as I have worked out some of the kinks.
It sounds frustrating when you realise you have not improved much from the image of the beginner, staring back at you, mocking your own progress. But it’s nice as a rude awakening, to remind you that there’s a long way to go, and that in the path of learning, you’ll always need to be humble, so that you can learn from the expert, as well as from the beginner.
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Since I’ve been training in the Wu style of TCC, I’ve been picking up the form pretty quickly. I am reminded by those around me who aren’t maybe picking it up so quickly that in reality, I’m not either. I’ve got a long long way to go.