The Journey Within

Despite what I said about illness and the rest that comes after, I don’t like to fall sick. Come on, who does?!! Let’s not count those that fall sick for the sake of not needing to go to work. But I think the number one culprit causing me to fall ill is the lack of sleep. I don’t like sleeping. Period. I wish I don’t need to sleep, so that I can go on and on doing things, whatever those “things” are.

But sleeping is so important. It’s the rest before the action. It’s the calm before the storm. It’s the moment before shit happens. All actions are preceded with inaction. Otherwise, we can’t really define action. Well, you can go from one action to the next action, like doing a karate hand chop and then a flying kick. There is a point of rest in between the hand chop and the flying kick, no matter how good your skills are…

So why do I hate sleeping? Something like “I can sleep all I want when I die” comes to mind. So is it death that I’m running away from rather than sleep? Maybe. It’s probably the fear of dying prematurely. But how do you define premature? Now? Tomorrow? 10 Years from now? 20 years? 50 years? If I live for another 50 years, I’ll meet the average life expectancy now. But the average life expectancy may change over time. Who knows? 50 years later, everyone might live to the age of 100 due to medical advances. What kind of life will they live? I don’t know. But still, that doesn’t justify sleeping less isn’t it? We all die at some point.

Sleep when you must. Die when you must. It’s all very simple. And yet very complicated.

I’m going to bed now…

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A mouthful, I know. But this phrase stuck with me when I was reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I  blogged about non-linear thinking, but “non-rational means” are a whole different matter. See, non-linear thinking assumes that thinking is split into linear and non-linear. The “non-rational means” according to this book says that there’s a third dimension. A dimension that goes beyond linear or non-linear thinking. In fact, the mere act of “thinking” is bound by these 2 dimensions. To comprehend something complex like relationship, the environment, the meaning of life, it’s tough just thinking about it. I guess that’s why we’ve invented the arts. Something within the physical world to express what the brain cannot comprehend.

In other words, I think comprehension of the world by rational means can only take you so far. The human mind is much stronger and much richer than that. There should be non-rational means of understanding the world. By that I mean we can understand the world without having to explain it, because our plane of explanation does not encompass the richness that’s out there.

I guess the next question is… are we ready?

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Migraine – the aftermath. I always feel lighter. In fact, after any illness I always feel lighter. I hate it when I have to go through any illness, but thank goodness none has lasted long. The day might come when there could be an illness which I can never recover from, but hey, I’ll just have to take it when it comes. I say this now with so much courage, but I know I’ll be scared shit when it really comes…

Anyway, without looking too far ahead into the future, let’s just enjoy this unbearable feeling of lightness. I was on such a high today that nothing seemed to be able to spoil it. I just had a silly smile stuck on me for the rest of the day. I was jumping up and down, playing the piano, carrying a happy tune wherever I walk. I spent a whole morning browsing for books at a bookstore, looking at toys at a toy store. Had lunch at a Japanese pasta place. Didn’t do much retail therapy but still felt happy.

The good mood started to fizzle out in the afternoon though. Then I went running. Did a 3 km run. Did some Tai Ji by the beach. Finished off with a Thai style chicken rice while watching Bedtime Stories.

I should feel like this all day, everyday. It’s a choice isn’t it?

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I’ve been using this for a while now, but now that it’s much improved, I’ll just like to drop a note here to say that this blog looks good on iPhone as well! Check out the screen shot below.

And if you click on one of the post, you’ll get this.

You can play around with the menu above, which will bring you to the pages you have, or access RSS and email functions. You can also search the blog using the search button above. Categories is there as well if you like. Now, just waiting for tags…

Thanks to the WP plugin, brought to you by the folks from WPtouch!

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It started with a glance. Then I said to myself, “nah, it’ll never be as good as my Treo”. And then, it comes. First, I started noticing it more and more. Then, people start to show me how it works. I saw their fingers, gliding along the smooth skin, and then, it comes alive! To believe that such a small package can turn you on. Playing it with 2 fingers brought greater joy. It became bigger and smaller at will. And when it turns, it becomes longer and wider.

After a while, I just couldn’t stand it, and finally bought myself an iPhone.

You don’t actually ever own an iPhone. It owns you. After a while, you feel like you’re lost without it. You will play with it any chance you have. Stroke it, flip it, turn it, listen to it, watch it… If someone is watching, you’ll sneakily put it back into your pocket, only to flip it out again the next chance you get, which is most likely 2 seconds later.

3 months on, I’m still playing with it. I’ve started to accessorise it. Got a nice coat for it. It’s even got a sweat proof necklace that’s doubling up as a headphone. I’m still filling it up with things that I can exercise my fingers with. It’s a clinger I tell you… a clinger!

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Now, I’m surprised I found the same things said about the mountain in a book about motorcycle maintenance. Ok, it’s not quite just about motorcycle maintenance, but at some point in the book, a father brought his son up a mountain. I won’t try to spoil the wordings used and just quote this below:

Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you’re no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn’t just a means to an end, but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here’s where things grow.

The book I’m reading is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

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I’ve read about working for free in Rich Dad Poor Dad. Rich Dad would ask his son and Robert to work for free, so that they don’t ever work for a monthly pay.

I’ve recently just understood the meaning of working for free. In fact, I’ve been working for free for all these time, when I’m training for my Tai Ji.

Somehow, it’s the things that we do for free that makes life seems more meaningful, until what you do for free is being exchanged for something else, like fame and fortune. And then it becomes complicated, like training for a medal, or training for glory, or training for money, or even training to look good. It’s difficult to ask the mind to concentrate on one thing, and then at the same time focus on attaining something else. See, on the one hand, you’re training to learn the art. On the other, you’re training to attain some physical reward or recognition.

I don’t know whether I’ll ever need the recognition, but the training towards attaining recognition might be counter-productive to learning. The more you train, the less you learn.

Maybe working for free does have its merits. Get paid doing something else. I guess that’s what the day job is all about.

So, I’m good in numbers, spreadsheets, and maybe some writing. Anything I can help you with for free?

Hopefully, if I really add value, the money will come. I guess that’s what Rich Dad’s advice really is. Don’t work for the next pay check. Work to really add value to other people’s life. Money, fame, glory will then follow. So the theory goes…

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There has been a “surge” in traffic lately. I don’t see much change in the statistics, but it exceeded the bandwidth I was given, which is why I couldn’t post recently. Ok, that’s a long excuse for being lazy. BUT, I’m glad to say that I am on a 30 days streak for my tai ji practice. Woohoo!

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