The Journey Within

Yikes! I’ve been tagged, thanks to Rick. It looks fun enough though, so goes the rules:

The meme works as follows. You post five things about yourself. Four are untrue. One is true. All are so outlandish, implausible or ridiculous that no one would be inclined to believe that any of them are true. And despite the pleas from your readers, you never divulge which is true and which are fabrications. You then tag five other people (four seriously and one person you are pretty sure would never participate).

Here’s my 5 implausible things:

1. I used to be a woman.
2. I’m a descendent of a Royal Family in China.
3. I can do a real life version of Kamehameha using Qi.
4. I used to dance Salsa competitively. Now, I only do social ballroom dancing.
5. I never thought I was a prankster, until I set off the fire alarm in school and feign ignorance. It was an accident, of course.

Now… the 5 “lucky” ones to do the same would be…. Prata Princess, Jonathan, Matt, Teck, and Michael.

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Hi, I’m Shang Lee, and I’m a compulsive hoarder. My motto is “when in doubt, keep”. So I find a box? Hmm, it might be useful someday. Keep. If I find a nice shirt I haven’t worn for ages? Keep. Hmm, that jeans may fit me some day… Keep. I’m definitely going to use that bag when I go on a cruise to Abu Dhabi. Keep.

Actually, it’s not so bad now. I dump some of them before they become “stuff” in the house that I may bump into some day. There are still others, plenty of others. Physical stuff is obvious. Virtual stuff is less so. With no lack of space in the virtual world, “when in doubt, keep” becomes much much easier. So easy that I fell ill…

I’m not sure how much of that (falling ill) is true, but keeping things whether in the physical environment or in the virtual environment seems to have a toll on the mind space. Somehow, there’s an equivalent piece of data stored in the brain when you store something elsewhere. More clutter outside, more clutter inside.

So, let me introduce Project Dumping. The body knows how to take a dump. The mind… not so sure. If you believe the body is an ecosystem with its built in sewage system, I believe the mind is the same. So, it’s time to do some sewage maintainence on the mind.

Before we control what’s going in, (the mind diet), let’s control what’s already there first. You can’t actually see what’s in your mind unless you put it down somewhere, so your emails, your photos, your music, your files, your games, your clothes, your bags, your gadgets, your magazines etc… they are all a proxy of your mind. Clear them, clear your mind.

Dumping is the easiest or the hardest, depends on how deep your addiction to hoarding is. For me, since I’ve quit my job (that’s the first dump I suppose…), I’ve dumped my office wear to an unused bag, keeping one or two just in case I need to go for that odd interview. I’m not sure why that was the first thing I did. Maybe I’m trying to get rid of feeling like a dog.

The most cluttered piece of environment seems to be my email. So i’ve started dumping there as well. I’ve set a modest target of dumping 10 items per day. It was standing at 300 or so. I’m down to 100+ now. I find that the most effective thing I’ve done with emails is to unsubscribe.

I’m not sure how the subscriptions built up, but over the years, newsletters, supermarkets, bookstores, beauty products, viagra, people looking for sex (?!) seems to find their way to my inbox. Everyone wants to tell me that I need their things (or services). I’ve had enough. So, I began unsubscribing frantically. Each time I receive such email, I looked for the unsubscribe button. It’s normally quite small in relation to the other text. But the process has been relatively painless. The most difficult one is to drop them an email. The easier one is just one click away.

My inbox is going down to zero… hopefully, my mind will be clearer as well.

I’ll be dumping more stuff after this. If you like, please join in as we take a dump together. I think we should declare a dumping day. It’s fun, and helps de-stress the already stressful day whether you’re at work or at home. It helps clear the mind as well. If you have the courage and energy, suggest it to your boss.

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I use to admire people who can express their feelings and emotions through art, whether this is through songs, music, dance, martial art, sports, words etc. I like the control they show when releasing their emotions in whatever art form they choose. Now, I think the performing mind may be counter-productive to learning.

During performance, there could be 1001 things that may float through the mind. Well, during practice, other 1001 things may invade the thoughts as well, but there’s an added pressure when performing. Depending on the audience, we may think about the steps, the rhythm, the stage, the props, how the audience will think, will they like it, will the judges like it etc. All these thoughts will ultimately affect your performance.

I remember my first private lesson with my teacher, and it felt horrible. I was too eager to look good, and I eventually forgot my steps.

Similarly, during our push hands class, I do find some people trying to look good in front of others. To appear to be the more capable one, by landing someone on the floor or to the wall, like this guy over here. I find I learn more from people who does this, but doing it myself hinders my own quest to “search for the truth”.

When there’s an opportunity to perform in front of others, whether formally (like a competition or a stage performance), or informally (e.g. during group practice sessions), it’s useful as a focus for your own personal practice sessions. I found many people take part in competitions solely to force themselves to practise more, like a runner signing up for marathon so that he’ll run more.

While that may be a good thing, during the performance itself, the performing mind needs to be parked aside. You’re no longer performing. You’re doing what you can at that time. Never mind the audience, never mind the judges, never mind the students, never mind the teacher. Perform the truth, and the art will flow. Other things will take care of itself. If it’s not your time, it’s not your time. Do enjoy yourself when performing. Do enjoy yourself when practising too. It may be the only time you’re truthful to yourself.

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