I do Tai Chi. If you’ve been following this blog, I do a lot of Tai Ji, but still not enough, not enough to be proficient, not enough to get through “the door”.
The door is a threshold metaphor used by the teachers. 入门 literally translates to going through the door, which I believe signifies a student gaining access to become an indoor student, during the older times. Being an indoor student is a big thing. It’s a student who has earned the right to study intimately with a teacher.
I’m not an indoor student, because I have not gone through “the door”. But I came across 3 fateful events which shows me a bit closer to the door.
My teacher made an observation on our push hand skills (a kind of martial art sparring, but a bit more gentle, some of the times anyway). He said that our approach to push hands seem to be a scattergun approach, i.e. our force is all over the place, and hopefully one of them will hit the right spot. With a scattergun approach, we will tend to use much more strength than necessary. So our tension will light up like a christmas tree – you can see them a mile away.
My interpretation? We are not focused enough, or rather we are focused on the wrong thing. We seem to be focusing on the easiest path, to win the battle but sadly, we are losing the war, the war with ourselves.
I find that the push hands class provides a controlled environment to test out my understanding of my own actions. Every push, every yield, tells me more about myself than sitting at home theorising it. It lets me know the kind of character that I have. I aspire to be more, so I listen more. But that’s still not enough. I have to focus to find the path. The point where it all melts away. Focusing on winning will win you the battles only some of the time. Focusing on the point will win you the war.
So what is the point?
The point is different for different people. My point of focus is to learn to sense the path of least resistance, and not to barge in all the time. Barging in releases some pent up anger because… well you might think the other person is using too much strength. He might not be pushing the “right way”. He’s not relaxing. He’s using brute force. He’s cheating. All of these anger can be melted away if I focus on the point. Focus on always looking for the point. If not, I will just be like him, using too much strength, not pushing the right way, not relaxing, using brute force. In fact, I will become him.
Why?
Because I have been brought down to that level. My focus degraded from winnning the war to winning the battle. I lost my point. Instead, I am chasing his point, which is to win the battle.
Remember your point. Focus on your point. That way, you will always win the war and not just the battle.
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The older I get, I find my self less and less in a hurry. I want to learn less and less. That is, I’m after the kernel; and everything else will follow.
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