I tell people I do Tai Chi. I can rattle off the number of forms I do (or did). I can tell people how many years I’ve been “at it” (it’s in the double digits now). I can rant on about Tai Chi as if I know a lot, and yet, my journey brought me back to the basic of the basics.
I know Chen Style. I know Yang style. I know Sun style. Hey, I even know a bit of praying mantis! But I still know nothing. It’s quite sad really. While translating the text by Sun Zhonghua, I can actually feel the author’s pain, before he “got it”, before he understood the real Tai Ji. I am still pursuing the real Tai Ji, and now, I’m going back to the basics.
No forms. No hands. Just legs. Well, actually, just kua.
I’m sweating more profusely doing 1 minute of this. My previously thought “limits” where actually not the limit yet. I thought I was sinking low, but apparently not. I thought I was going further to the sides, but again, no. Even when I thought I’ve corrected myself to go lower and further, it’s still a bit shy off the “point”.
And this is the point.
There is a point when you hit the sweet spot. The sweet spot that makes everything go away. The sweet spot that says you’ve made it. Until then, I must strive for this sweet spot. And the thing is, the more I strive, the more counter-productive it is. I have to let go to let this sweet spot come to me.
Sounds strange? You bet. Everything worth learning will be strange, and probably painful when learning it. As Harvey Dent said in The Dark Knight:
The night is the darkest just before the dawn.
p/s: pictured a “back to basics” diary. Haven’t decided how to use this. It’s a birthday gift, but it looks really pretty. 
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