The Journey Within

At one of the push hands class, I was discussing with a fellow student how to counter another person’s “attack”. While we were experimenting with various kinds of counter attack, a very important point emerged. I forgot about me.

Everyone is unique. Everyone has his own way of doing Tai Chi. It follows from this logic that everyone also has his own way of counter attacking. One method that works for one person may not work for another. And we are talking about counter-attacking the same person. Although he was showing me his way of counter attack, I have to develop my own way as well. I can adapt from his, but I have to learn how my body moves which is more efficient for myself than for others.

A question of “how did you do it” becomes “how can I do it my way”. Do not follow blindly what the teacher is teaching. Learn the essence, and adapt it to yourself. The whole world will be better off that way because you are contributing your own perspective to the world.

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When I said that I wanted to be an artist, I didn’t know how to define “artist”, until I came across this definition by Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art:

“… His culture possesses affluence, stability, enough excess of resource to permit the luxury of self-examination. The artist is grounded in freedom. He is not afraid of it. He is lucky. He was born in the right place. He has a core of self-confidence, of hope for the future. He believes in progress and evolution. His faith is that humankind is advancing, however haltingly and imperfectly, toward a better world.”

So, do you think you are an artist?

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Sometimes, our journey within brings us to question the very pond we are in. Have we chosen the right pond? Is the pond the right size? Is the pond the right depth? Is it in the right location? Does it taste right? Do the fishes in there accept your being in the pond? Do the humans accept you in the pond? Do they want to fish you out the minute they get the chance, or do they just want to admire you being in the pond?

Let’s do this on a scale I can articulate better. Let’s put a label on this pond, say Tai Chi.

Now, when you learn Tai Ji, what do you expect out of it? Do you expect to meet people? Do you expect to learn a martial art? Do you expect an expert teacher who will give you all the attention that you want? Do you expect a welcoming party? Do you expect a large space for you to practise whenever you want? Do you expect to be a master some day? Do you expect to teach some day? Do you expect to get your questions answered straightaway? Do you expect it to be easy? Do you expect it to cure cancer?

These may not be your most immediate questions as you start out on a quest like learning Tai Ji. Your most immediate concern is probably what time is the class and what do you have to wear. Your following questions might be “what is the teacher like?” or “what are the students like?”.

After a while, when the journey within begins, you will start to realise what you have gotten yourself into. You will slowly realise why you took up Tai Chi in the first place. You begin to form an opinion about Tai Chi and you. You begin to understand the relationship between Tai Chi and you. You know Tai Chi better as you progress into the art, whichever direction you have chosen. And through Tai Chi, you will also start to understand what kind of person you are. And then, the ultimate question is – is Tai Chi suitable for you?

A thing like Tai Chi can be suited to you in a lot of ways. In a way, you can shape Tai Chi to be suitable to you. You can learn it for the health benefits. You can learn it for the social benefits. You can learn the martial aspects of it. You can learn the teaching aspects of it. You can learn the calming effects. Or you can simply learn to appreciate what it represents rather than what you can do with it.

There are many reasons for learning. It depends on how you define learning for you. The thing is, you have to choose a level that is suitable for you. You have to choose the league that is suitable to you. You have to choose the depth that you wish to learn. You have to choose the breadth that you want to learn.

Without making these conscious choices, you might forever be in a pond that is unsuitable. You will forever struggle in this pond, both physically and mentally. Imagine a beginner who sets out to be a Tai Chi master, or a student who sets out to be a teacher. Conventional wisdom will treat this as admirable goals, goals that are worthwhile because without goals, we seem to be lost.

Where goals are certainly admirable, shooting too far is probably more detrimental to attaining those goals.

We need to choose a pond that we can grow into our goals. We need to choose a pond where we can thrive. We cannot achieve our goals if the medium to achieving it is not suitable, sometimes even fatal.

I’m not trying to make excuses here to say that we shouldn’t aim to be the master of our trade. All I’m saying is to make the pond work for you. You don’t want to be drowning. You want to be swimming. You may choose to swim fast. Others may choose to swim slow. Some may just want to stay afloat. But nobody wants to drown. If you find yourself drowning, it’s time for a new pond, before it’s too late.

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There are different degrees of enriching uranium. You can enrich uranium to such a high grade that it can turn into a nuclear bomb. You can also choose to enrich it to a degree suitable for a power plant, producing electricity enough to power a city, a town, a village, a house, a room, a computer, a calculator, a light bulb…

The cost of enriching uranium is high. So to enrich uranium to power just a light bulb may not make economic sense. But the point is, there is a choice to the level of enrichment.

There are times when we choose to enrich ourselves through additional courses, additional work, additional challenges. As we look within ourselves, we want to improve on certain aspects of ourselves. Be it a new language, a new skill, or a new habit. We can also choose to polish our existing skills e.g. writing, communication, negotiation, sales, etc.

As with uranium enrichment, there is a choice to the level of your own enrichment. You don’t need to be the next Einstein. You don’t need to be the next Carnegie. You don’t need to be the next Warren Buffet or the next Steve Jobs. What you need to be, is to be you.

I love enriching myself. If possible, I would like to speak 10 different languages, memorise the world history better than google, able to run a marathon without loosing breath or aching legs, draw like Picasso, understand science like Richard Feynman, solve problems like Leonardo Da Vinci…

But I’m not these. I may be some of these, but I’m not all of these. I’m me. And it’s not a bad thing. The uranium enriched power plant is still producing electricity power capable of powering a small nation. The level of my own enrichment is still useful. I just need to find the right location for this power plant.

So, do you aspire to be a nuclear bomb or a power plant?

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Somehow, I seem to be holding up a sign to invite others to bully me. I seem to appear helpless among all the helpful people around me. I seem to be so inadequate that others feel a need to impart their teachings, their opinions, their wisdom. And yet, I seem to be the only one who’s listening, and trying to improve myself.

Ok. Bully might be too strong a word. And, I’m sure I don’t always listen and improve on myself. Just ask my wife.

I believe everyone wants to improve themselves. Everyone wants to be the best, or as good as they can be. But when they don’t realise that they’re not there yet (see unconscious incompetence), it’s tough for me (or anyone) to point out to them. It’s tougher for me to give their advice consideration, as they themselves cannot do what they’re preaching. They themselves have not fully understood what they’re saying.

So how should I deal with this?

I still believe in learning from all. I still believe that being humble means that I can learn more from others. I’m sad that a large proportion of society equates humility to being weak. Aggressive behaviour is rewarded. The quiet ones are sidelined. It takes a wise person to understand the difference between being weak and being humble. It takes a stronger person to realise this especially when the person has formal authority or power e.g. leader or a teacher.

At one point, I thought I should learn to be more aggressive. I thought I should try to always get my way. It seems to work most of the time in the corporate world. Well, it seems to work most of the time in a lot of worlds! My wise wife quickly pointed out that if that’s not me, I shouldn’t be that kind of person. It’s not the kind of person that I want to be.

How true.

The best I can be is just to be me. Being myself defines who I am. I don’t like confrontation. I like to “hua” (化, commonly translated as yield), to make the matter at hand irrelevant and everyone wins. That’s why Tai Ji speaks so much to me, and that’s why my current teacher’s philosophy speaks so much to me.

I think it’s still important to be me. Who else would I be?

p/s: Actually, being aggressive is not a steep learning curve for me. I used to be short-tempered, and that normally translates to aggression. I do find learning Tai Ji helps. It helps me calm the mind, and be able to absorb more things which I would have erupted during my younger days. My fuse to eruption is much longer now. I seem to be more open to different comments, especially the bad ones, and although I don’t like it in the heat of the moment, I’m able to pass it calmly and jokingly. I do vent about it later, either through journalling or through my poor wife, but I’m glad that I didn’t do something I would regret in the heat of the moment.

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After setting my one goal for 2009, I assumed nothing else can go wrong with just the one goal, until I missed the goal on the first day of 2009! Which is something I would like to write about – the seduction of distractions. Let me take your through these seductresses one by one.

1. The bed

The number one of all seductresses. How many times have I found out that putting out the alarm is preferable to getting out of bed. The invisible arms of the bed are always ready to pull you in. It’s warm and cuddly, and peeling myself away from these arms doesn’t seem to be an option…

2. Food

When hunger strikes, food trumps exercise. If I wake up in the morning feeling hungry, I might grab a bite first and then another, and then another… If I come home from work, and feeling frustrated and tired, dinner always sounds better than exercise. There’s always tomorrow…

3 other “important” things (OTMs)

Now, OTMs are a different breed altogether. They first appear not to be there, but then they call you out almost in a whisper. They seem to work in unison, like having a collective consciousness (read Borg for Trekkies out there). Once you give in to one, others will follow. Like putting on the kettle, rearranging the desk, looking for that pen, reading the latest news, emailing a friend about a party in 2 weeks’ time, check if another friend has replied your invitation…

Conclusion?

There is none. As Oscar Wilde put it, I can resist anything but temptations. But I found a way round it. Hope the tips in there will keep me distracted.

Streak: 24 days, Failure rate: 18.6%

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It’s rare that a very good martial arts movie with a strong story comes along. Rarer still that the martial arts are really good to watch! They don’t make films like these anymore, until Ip Man.

This is a portrayal of a true martial artist who learnt the art of Wing Chun. It shows the light and dark side of a period where I can only imagine what it’s like. It’s set in a place where the streets are filled with martial art schools, which makes it a very competitive place for learning martial arts. It also shows the hardships during the Japanese occupation, and how, through kung fu, the spirits of people are lifted to new highs. Do watch it.

p/s: It’s pronounced Yip (as in yippee) Mun (as in Bun), and not eye-pee man…

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I saw a dad teaching a kid how to ride a skate board. It’s not those with four wheels, but those board with 2 wheels. It’s actually made of 2 diamond shaped board, connected by some “twister” material. To move forward, you twist the front and back panel in opposite directions. I’m just surprised a 40 year old dad, who weighs no less than 90kg, is trying to teach a 6 year old skate boarding. And the most interesting quote he used? “stop thinking kid! you’re thinking too much!”

Now, i thought kids weren’t suppose to think too much. I don’t remember thinking when I was learning how to ride a bicycle. I remember falling, and I guess that’s how we learn. i don’t know why kids are now thinking at such a young age. They are growing up with adult inhibitions, which is not a good thing! Growth is everything for a kid, and for growth to happen, the lack of inhibitions are the number one thing allowing growth. That’s why adults find it so difficult to learn anything, because our preconceptions are just too many. “you can’t do that, that’ll look awful”, “what will your wife say”, “and how much will that cost”…

There will always be an excuse not to do something, say something, don’t say something… Kids shouldn’t have those excuses, not before they’re indoctrinated by the society’s values. As James Surowiecki said, the wisdom of crowds will only work if everyone has an independent mind. To paraphrase that, the collective intelligence of mankind will only work if we grow independently, with as little inhibitions as possible. It’ll make a more fascinating planet to live in, compared to a world where everyone thinks and does the same thing.

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It’s been a while since the subject on Room to Read came up. Now there’s a quick way you can get involved. Simply vote for the project “6000 Girls’ Scholarship in the Developing World“, and if it gets to at least top 25, American Express will sponsor quite a sum into the project! Click here for more details on the project. You can read more about Room to Read at roomtoread.org. The following is the exact email from them on this subject.

—–

Hey there Room to Read volunteers and members of the Buzz List!

We need your help!  American Express recently launched their 2008 “Members Project,” which asks American Express cardholders to submit project ideas in 5 key areas that will help change the world, and then asks cardholders to vote on the winning projects.  American Express plans to give away $2.5 million to the winning projects, including $1.5 million for first place. What would that mean for Room to Read ? It would mean we would be able to give 6,000 girls access to an education.

Thanks to our former San Diego chapter leaders, we submitted a Room to Grow project for consideration. In case you’re not familiar with this program, our Room to Grow Girls’ Scholarship Program gives thousands of girls access to education through a holistic scholarship that includes:

• Monthly school fees, school uniforms, books, supplies and backpacks
• Academic tutoring as needed
• Developmental support through life skills trainings and field trips
• Parent meetings and workshops
• Transportation (such as a bicycle or bus fare) as needed
• Medical coverage
• Mentorship by women staff members of Room to Read

Now we need you to nominate it!  Anyone (even non-cardholders) can nominate a project once it’s submitted – the more nominations a project gets, the better its chances for making the “Top 25.”  After the nomination period ends on September 1st, American Express will announce the Top 25 projects.  AmEx cardholders will then vote on the Top 5 (announced on September 30th) and then vote again for the winning project.  The winners will be announced on October 14th.  We’re hoping that you will nominate our project!

The instructions to nominate are as follows:

1. If you have an AmEx card, you can log in to nominate our project here
2. If you do not have an AmEx card, you can log in as a guest here
3. Click on Room to Read’s project link or enter “Room to Read” in the search box.
Please note our project is titled “6,000 Girls’ Scholarships in the Developing World.”
4. In case you can’t find it, Room to Read’s project is listed under the “Education”
category and the “Achievement Gap” subcategory.
5. Click on “Nominate this Project!”

Once you’ve nominated our project, we’d ask that you spread the word throughout your
networks by:

• Forwarding this email on to at least 10 friends
• Posting the project on your Facebook or social networking page (if you have one) by
clicking on the appropriate icon at the bottom of our AmEx project page
• You can also click on “More Ways to Get Involved” on the project page if you’re
looking for other ideas about how to rally support

We’ll be sure to let you know if we make the Top 25 so we can encourage everyone to vote for our project.  Just think, if Room to Read were to win the top prize, 6,000 girls across the world could go to school.

Thanks in advance for your help,

The Room to Read Team

Room to Read
info@roomtoread.org
415.561.3331

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The Dark Knight – Batman’s latest movie instalment, is dark. I wasn’t anticipating this movie that much initially. Even after the movie, I wasn’t sure if i’ve enjoyed the movie or not. It’s a strange feeling. I found the movie long (it’s more than 2 hours), and the beginning a little bit draggy. But after the whole movie finished, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling any longer.

The theme is dark. Good and evil has been mixed up so much that you can’t tell the evil from the good. I see families with kids going to the movies, and I wonder if the subject might be too dark for the audience.

It’s hard to talk about The Dark Knight without talking about Joker and Two-Face, the 2 other characters in the movie. They are what made Batman bad or good, depending on your perspective. Without mentioning too much about the plot, Joker actually has the clearest mind about everyone in the Batman world. He’s clear about himself, he’s clear about the people around him, and he knows Batman better than Batman knows himself. That is what made Joker such a formidable nemesis to Batman.

According to Joker, Batman won’t kill Joker because of some misplaced moral guidance that the good can’t kill the evil. Joker wouldn’t kill Batman either because he’s just “too much fun”.

If that intrigues you, go watch the movie.

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