I want to be a dad that goes after his dreams, and set these sorts of examples to his kids.

(via SSKTN.com Interview with Shawn Blanc)

My dreams are still vague to me, but I have also taken a step to create more opportunities for me to dream, and be with my kid. The past year had been a busy one which got me thinking (again) about how my life should be crafted. I’ve restructured it to this – I spend my mornings with my kid, catch up on reading and sometimes write or run or swim or do Tai Chi. I then go to work in the afternoons.

I do hope this works out well, in all sense of the word “well”.

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However, I’ve come up with a new hypothesis that might just help me.

Just like how what I teach comes from a prior source, I believe what I write comes from a universal source as well. There is a stream of words flowing all around us. Writing things down is basically taking a sip from this stream. It is a temporary connection with what’s going on around us, and provides me a glimpse into what could be.

A theory like this does not actually mean much in actual writing. For me, it makes a whole lot of difference understanding that when I’m writing, I’m not actually writing, but I’m trying to open up a wormhole into this other universe and allowing the words from there to flow through. If I were to interrupt it, like doing constant editing, this tap of words will probably drip to a stop, which is not what I want.

Let’s see where this new found knowledge will take me. I might end up just writing by hand. I wonder if anyone still does that on a regular basis.

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Hey, it’s just Tai Chi. Why does this sound like some secret sauce that is not supposed to be shared? The beauty I find with these kind of knowledge is that, even if it’s shared openly, not many people will get it. Not many people will want to. And then justifications start pouring in. I’m too old. It’s too slow. It’s not real. You still have to use strength.

Just like the secret sauce that Warren Buffet uses. He openly tells people how he invests, and he was asked before that if everyone uses his method, wouldn’t that make everyone rich? Unfortunately (or fortunately), after many decades, his method still proves to be sound, and people still choose to ignore them.

Maybe that’s why value investing will continue to work. Maybe that’s why Tai Chi will continue to be elusive. The knowledge will only present itself to those worthy of it. Sad to say, i’m still not there yet, but I am hopeful.

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Push hands is a very specific Tai Chi training. It involves two person sparring with one another. Like any martial art sparring, the purpose is to win the opponent. One famous military strategy is to know your opponent. Push hands provides a very specific means to know your opponent, that is through the physical contact of the hands, sometimes known as the art of sticking.

To stick is not to glue. It’s not where you can maintain the skin contact between two hands. It’s not the rub or friction between two hands where it burns.

Sticking is an intention. A feeling. A state of mind. It manifests itself through physical contact of the skin, but the physical contact is just an end state. It is not sticking.

Once you are in this state of mind, you become aware. You become aware of your force. You become aware of your opponent’s force. You become aware of gravity. You become aware of the ground you are standing on.

You see, although in push hands, sticking appears to be on the hand only, the true nature of sticking is the simultaneous sticking to the ground and to the hands. The ground provides the power, the hand is just a manifestation of that power. The more you stick to the ground, the more you stick to your opponent.

Now this can be misunderstood as pushing off the ground. That is not true. Again, sticking is a feeling inside. You are working with the ground, not against it. When you work against it, you will feel that you are almost flying off the ground. Should the ground move, like standing in a train, you will be thrown off.

True sticking is a relaxed feeling. Your whole weight sinks into the ground. You feel connected. Your ground is your partner, your friend, not your foe. You are working together with the ground. It’s as if you have the power of the earth in your legs.

That’s sticking. Have you felt it yet?

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1. Get an iPad

Ok. This is really an indulgence. I didn’t get an iPad to write. But it has turned out to be a fantastic writing machine. It’s light enough to be able to bring it anywhere. It’s heavy enough to be a full fledge writing machine. The instant on, the full keyboard, the silent tapping on the virtual keyboard – all makes iPad an ideal partner in writing… It is also an ideal partner for facebook, twitter, tumblr, internet surfing… which brings me to my next tip.

2. Get rid of cable TV

I’m pretty sure a lot of people have tried avoiding black holes like facebook and TV. Somehow, when we are near these black holes, time seemed irrelevant. And when we are far from them, time never seemed enough. See, time hasn’t changed for billions of years. Our activities change our perception of time. So to give myself more time, I changed one of my activities. I got rid of cable TV. I do hope I will be able to get rid of TV permanently, but I think that getting rid of cable TV is a major step forward.

3. Get the right tools for the job

There are numerous writing applications out there. From the beast-type application which even throws in the kitchen sink even if you didn’t ask for it (eg Microsoft Word) to the simple text only software which has very little of what you need, or maybe it has what you need most and doesn’t have what you need least (TextEdit or Notepad for my Windows brethren).

After searching and deciding on what’s out there vs what I need, I finally settled on Simplenote. Simplenote is a text only application. It syncs across my Mac, my iPhone, and my iPad. And it is stable. It has very little bells and whistles. What it does? It lets me focus on words while it makes my words available anywhere, anytime.

I do use some other peripheral applications like Writer, MarkdownNote and Notational Velocity. Yes, I want to focus on writing, so why use all these other fringe apps? Why not have one app to rule them all?

4. Get the power of “one thing well”

This is a mindset. For a very long time, I love the idea of something that has multiple functions. I love the Swiss Army Knife. I love Transformers. I just don’t get why would someone pay for something that can only do one thing.

I get it now. I get it why having something that can only do one thing helps to get that thing done. It’s about distractions, or the lack of distractions. A knife can only cut. If my purpose is to cut an apple, I would use a knife. A Swiss army knife would get the job done plus a lot of other jobs. I might end up doing other jobs before getting to eat my apple.

My choice of application is also with that mindset. A pen and paper would actually help. But I prefer typing, because that is faster for me. I write slow. I type fast.

5. Get writing

And finally, and the more obvious one – get writing. Just start. If your purpose is to write, that is what you should do, regardless of the tools. My workflow now has been reduced to this:

1. Turn on iPad
2. Open Writer
3. Write

What is yours? Has it got more than 3 steps? If so, you still have too much friction. Get it down to 3.

1. Get paper
2. Get pen
3. Write

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The worst thing about such baby-like behaviour is that it seems smug to be so, again just like a baby. It knows which buttons to push so that I constantly give it attention. I end up doing many things, but accomplishing nothing. The buzz word is multi-tasking. I think it’s closer to a Recipe for Insanity.

Following the Recipe for Insanity

If I follow this recipe, I realise that while doing an action, it is actually counter productive to think about the action. And while thinking about the action, it’s actually counter productive to do the action itself.

Let me explain. Let’s say I plan to clean the floor. I can just bring out the broom and start cleaning. Unfortunately, the broom has seen better days. It might be better if I vacumm. But the vacuum filter has not been cleaned for a long time. Maybe it’s time to clean it now. So I go clean the vacuum filter.

I still haven’t cleaned the floor.

While doing something, I tend to have the tendency to improve the tools I need to do that something. The lines are not clear. Stepping back is good. Looking at the big picture is good, but not when things need to get done. There are times when things need to be done and there are times when the big picture things need to be done. They rarely should be done at the same time.

GTD to the rescue?

In the GTD speak, these are the level of horizons that actions reside. For example, the very next action, like calling mum, is on the runway. The purpose of calling mum is to arrange her to be the babysitter for the weekend. That is my 10,000 feet horizon – a placeholder to define things that requires more than one action. Why would I want my mum to be the babysitter instead of some random person on the street? The answer lies in a higher horizon. As we go higher into the stratosphere, we will ultimately come to the question of – why am I here on this earth. But before that, I’m happy to just have the answer of “call mum”.

My answers are actually building up to higher questions, but until the questions on the lower horizons are answered, there is no way that I can go higher. I can’t answer the existential question if I can’t even put food on the table. I won’t be able to exist to answer the existential question.

So, do I do or do I think?

Do the actions when doing the actions. Think about the actions when thinking about the actions. Do not confuse actions on the runway with the “thinking-type” actions on the higher horizons. If you’re confused, just get your hands dirty on the runway. You can clean up on the way to the higher altitude. The water is cleaner up there anyway.

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A little story

Before I compare the different Tai Ji systems to understand CZH and his practical method better, let me tell you a little story.

In 2001, at Canada Edmonton’s Huan Yuan Tai Ji academy, a car drove by and parked by the roadside. A man walked straight into the main hall of the academy and asked the first person he saw “Excuse me, I would like to meet Mr Chen”.

“That’s me. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I am Trevor Jelic. My friend Wei Ping, who’s also a teacher, insisted that I should come and meet you.” And while Trevor was speaking, he was already checking out CZH, trying to hide his curiosity and his feeling of superiority.

“I know Wei Ping, why do you want to meet me?” CZH feels that Trevor has a sharp eye, a good physique, a strong stance and a general strong aura, expecting him to be a martial artist.

Trevor said “Mr Wei Ping thinks highly of your Tai Ji, and emphasized that I should experience it myself.”

CZH understood and just said “I’m happy to be able to practise with you. What kind of martial art do you train in?”

Trevor happily tells him “I trained with Mr Chen for 3 years, Mr Xu for 5 years, and Mr Zhang for 1 year.” These are all famous teachers.

“Do we begin now?” asked CZH.

Trevor replied “That would be best.”, and stepped forward.

As their hands meet, Trevor used both his hands to control CZH’s wrist and elbow, while using the contact on these joints to push CZH. He must have figured that CZH is but 1.6m tall and can’t be more than 60kg. With his strength and skill, his force must be able to push him far right?

Trevor did not expect his hands to be twisted into a spiraling motion and redirected back to his own throat, yet he could not exert any strength in both his hands. But this is not Trevor’s first fight, so he knows immediately that he had to change his tactic. CZH is just one step ahead of him. He sunk his hands and we just hear 2 thuds – Trevor was on his knees.

CZH just said “I’m sorry. My bad.” And immediately lent his hand to pick him up. The people around him is already used to this sight, so no one actually said anything and made any gestures.

Trevor however remained kneeled. CZH wasn’t sure what’s going on, just to see that this large man was suddenly crying. CZH was going to tell him that winning or losing is just normal in life, but Trevor was half choking while muttering “have I just wasted 9 years of my life?”

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This is Part 3 of the translation and my interpretation of the text written by Sun Zhonghua. He is the 19^th generation master of Chen Style Taijiquan and a 2^nd generation master of Hunyuan Tai Ji. You can find the full text here if you can read Chinese. Here are the links to the other parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

To be a top Tai Ji master, you need to have the following five conditions.

1. Love the art
2. Have the time
3. Have moral and ethics
4. Able to learn and comprehend
5. Have a good teacher

I won’t go into further details about 1 to 4, as the majority of us will find that we cannot fulfill condition number 5, i.e. it is difficult to look for a good teacher.

Tai Ji is a martial art that places great emphasis on both theory and practice. It is difficult enough for an accomplished teacher to perform a proper excution of Tai Ji as martial art, it will be more difficult without a teacher. A teacher will determine the success or failure of a student, hence the strong emphasis on finding a good teacher. A good teacher needs to fulfill a lot of criteria. What the previous masters find most important is only 2: The teacher has to “have the goods” and “can teach”.

Have the goods

“Having the goods” means having the real thing (even better if the teacher expanded on what he learnt). You can’t listen to whoever who brands himself well, or have a large student following. You can’t even say that the person has the goods just because he is famous. To know whether a person has the goods, you need to understand the person from various sources and consciously observe the teacher.  You first have to look at the lineage of teachers before him, but again, just because he’s on some famous lineage does not mean he has the goods. You still have to consciously observe. As choosing the right teacher is that important, you cannot take this exercise lightly. If not, you might end up learning all the wrong things again.

Can teach

“Can teach” means the teacher is able to pass on his knowledge effectively to the students. This is a bit more than willing to teach, although willing to teach is a key criteria. Some who has the goods are unwilling to teach, hence misleading his students, and concurrently destroying his name and lineage. There are others who doesn’t have the goods, and yet imitate the masters as though he has the goods. He doesn’t even have the fake goods…

Having said all these, you must be wondering, where are all these teachers who “have the goods” and “can teach”?

Yes, these teachers do not come by often, but I manage to chance upon one. His name is Chen Zhong Hua. He is the student of 2 teachers, Hong Jun Sheng and Feng Zhi Qiang, both are 18^th generation master of Chen Style Tai Ji. Chen Zhong Hua (CZH) is now the international standard bearer of the Chen Style Practical Method Tai Ji. People who witness his skills are just astounded.

A little story

Before I compare the different Tai Ji systems to understand CZH and his practical method better, let me tell you a little story.

(to be continued…)

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I tell people I do Tai Chi. I can rattle off the number of forms I do (or did). I can tell people how many years I’ve been “at it” (it’s in the double digits now). I can rant on about Tai Chi as if I know a lot, and yet, my journey brought me back to the basic of the basics.

I know Chen Style. I know Yang style. I know Sun style. Hey, I even know a bit of praying mantis! But I still know nothing. It’s quite sad really. While translating the text by Sun Zhonghua, I can actually feel the author’s pain, before he “got it”, before he understood the real Tai Ji. I am still pursuing the real Tai Ji, and now, I’m going back to the basics.

No forms. No hands. Just legs. Well, actually, just kua.

I’m sweating more profusely doing 1 minute of this. My previously thought “limits” where actually not the limit yet. I thought I was sinking low, but apparently not. I thought I was going further to the sides, but again, no. Even when I thought I’ve corrected myself to go lower and further, it’s still a bit shy off the “point”.

And this is the point.

There is a point when you hit the sweet spot. The sweet spot that makes everything go away. The sweet spot that says you’ve made it. Until then, I must strive for this sweet spot. And the thing is, the more I strive, the more counter-productive it is. I have to let go to let this sweet spot come to me.

Sounds strange? You bet. Everything worth learning will be strange, and probably painful when learning it. As Harvey Dent said in The Dark Knight:

The night is the darkest just before the dawn.

p/s: pictured a “back to basics” diary. Haven’t decided how to use this. It’s a birthday gift, but it looks really pretty.

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A journey within is a personal journey. There is no one but you. No one can take the journey but you. You peel away layers upon layers of yourself, and what do you find? More of you. Knowing too much about yourself can get overwhelming. Hearing yourself over and over again can be deafening. If the self chatter didn’t manage to affect your auditory system, the silence will. It is a lonely road.

I can often busy myself with work when I decide to take a break from the journey. But recently, as the silence grew louder, my mind grew weaker. I get irritated more easily. I get frustrated with not making things happen fast enough. I might as well diagnose myself with clinical depression.

However, when I muster enough strength to even say that i’m suffering from depression, I find that saying the word “depression” perpetuates the feeling. I become the words I say.

I know words can be powerful. I use them to pick myself up. But this time, it was used against me. Fortunately, I have company. I believe it is well worth your time to create such support structures when you decide on a deeper journey within.

People

This is my main support pillar. No man is an island. Well, I actually live on an island, but there are plenty of people on this island and beyond. With the internet, geographical boundaries are no longer an issue. In fact, apart from my friends and family, I now have an extended support group under the guise of an online club. I joined this community initially to learn more about blogging, but ended up finding not just how to blog, but how to keep on writing even during the days when I don’t feel like writing. I do recommend that you check them out.

Books

I find solace in reading (I recommend these books), and learning from people with different experiences. Compared to talking to people (which I also enjoy), reading gives me plenty of freedom to pick up what I need, when I need it, provided the library has a copy. The books I read aren’t as popular as Twilight or any of the Amazon bestsellers, so normally, I do get to borrow it.

Activities

When I’m not reading, writing, or conversing with friends, family and other support group, I love doing Tai Chi, running, cooking, playing the piano and recently being active in a local Toastmaster club. Doing these activities helps me balance out the silence in my journey within.

Routine

I also find solace in the routine which involves cleaning and tidying things such as the kitchen, bedroom, fridge, store room, applications on my Mac, applications on my iPhone, my google reader subscriptions, my inbox etc.

People, books, activities and the routine. These are my support infrastructure during my journey within. What is yours?

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