I would like to share with you a recent revelation that I hope it will help you too. In my various sports activities, I am always told to relax my wrist, relax my grip, relax my footing etc. The not so annoying comments come from table tennis and badminton where relaxing the wrist and relaxing the grip is normally the order of the day. In the world of Tai Ji, the word-count for “relax” is probably highest of any activities I know of! The teacher will say “relax your shoulders, relax your elbow, relax your arm, relax you neck, relax your back, relax your waist, relax your kua…” the list just goes on irritably.
Digressing into the book i’m still reading, The Winning Investment Habits of Warren Buffett & George Soros, the first chapter is devoted to the power of mental habits. And the very first element needed to sustain a mental habit? – a belief that drives your behaviour. The book says that the Master Investor has a strong belief that he/she DESERVES to make money. Without that belief, or if other thoughts are limiting that belief, such as thinking that nobody deserves to make THAT much money, you will then not have the mental habit strong enough to actually make that much money. It’s sort of a self-prophesizing attitude.
This initially sounds a lot like having the “i can do it” attitude, sort of psyching yourself up so that you can achieve your greatest potential before the big match. I believe the mental habit method above goes deeper than that. Chanting the “i can do it” mantra can only give you results momentarily. This method actually asks you to change your mindset, to change your belief system.
Having a belief system helps us make decisions in our everyday life activities. If I want to be healthy, I know I need to have a balanced diet and a balanced exercise regime. This will then dictate what I buy in the supermarket, what I have for dinner, how much should I eat for each meal etc.
If you’re like me, I have a lot of self-limiting beliefs. I want to be healthy, and yet I still like to eat – I can always watch my diet tommorrow. Everytime I psyche myself up to lose that tai ji ball i have gathered around the waist, I can do it for 1 week, maybe 2, and then it’s back to square one. Consciously, I know I want to lose weight and in order to lose weight, I know I need to eat healthily and exercise. So i set myself some targets of say, running in the evening for 30 minutes, or have fixed meals per day. Often, they will work for 1 week, 2 weeks at most, and then I’m not meeting the targets any longer. Unconsciously, I don’t think I actually believe that I will lose that belly. That’s why I set myself unrealistic targets, or realistic short term targets. These targets are not meant for the long haul flight that is weight loss. Losing weight is easy, maintaining it that way is difficult.
What i’m actually missing is that I have unknowingly limited my belief to lose weight. I know my belief is to lose weight, yet I limit that belief by unknowingly telling myself that I can’t lose weight. I set myself targets but because of the limit I impose on myself, the targets that I set will never be met. What I don’t realise is that I first have to take away that self-limit, i.e. to actually believe losing weight is possible, and let that possibility flourish. Then the so called “targets” will take care of itself.
Coming back to the initial topic of relaxing your body parts, what I’m proposing to you is this – relax your mind! And your body parts will just take care of itself. Relax your mind into thinking that you are actually able to relax your wrist, elbow etc. You are actually allowing yourself to entertain the possibility of a relaxed body. It’s not something that will create miracles, but it’s the seed required to achieve a relaxed body. You have to believe in miracles for miracles to happen. If you don’t, even if miracles happen right under your nose, you won’t be able to recognise it. Just as the Master Investor believes he deserves to make money. If you don’t, even if money opportunity knocks on your door, you won’t be able to seize it.
So, have you relaxed your mind lately? 
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