The Journey Within

Push hands is a 2 person exercise. In its simplest, it starts off with 2 person standing facing each other, and each of their right hand touching at the wrist. From there, both move about in what seems like a dance between 2 people, to see who gets the upper hand.

I normally focus on the dance. I focus on how I can sense the other person’s force and how I can counter the force and hopefully make the opponent off balance. I fail to realise the importance of the contact point.

As Jay Heinrichs points out in his book Thank You for Arguing, searching for the common place is important in an argument. It is where an argument can be build from. It forms a base where an argument can take its shape and form. It is from a common place that 2 people can identify with each other, and form a common basis of understanding, before getting into the heat of an argument.

Similarly for push hands, it is through the common point of contact that we can hope to topple the opponent.

I have been focusing too much on the movements while ignoring the importance of this common point. The funny thing about this “argument” is that the common point is already found! I don’t need to search for it. It’s already there for all to see. I’m ignoring the common point at my own peril.

I guess with a lot of things that we do, the common point is often obvious. It is the need to look for the common point that is not that obvious. Suppose you want to tackle a really big project e.g. renovate the house. Now, all you know is that you want to renovate the house. But what is the common point between this big project and you? What is the thing that connects you with this big project?

It is normally a very simple action, like call a contractor, or ask Jim about his rates, or look up the directory to find a list of designers. Although the action is very simple, we normally fail to identify this action. In Getting Things Done speak, it’s called the Next Action (surprise surprise).

Common points are everywhere. And it’s the first glue that connects you to the thing that you want to do or achieve. Without the first brick, there is no house. Without the first screw, there is no car. Without the very next action, there is no further action. Without the first step, there is no journey.

Find the common point. Find the next action. You will be on your journey to become the millionaire that you’ve always wanted to be, or have that house by the beach that you’ve always dreamed of. It all starts with identifying the common point.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

At one of the push hands class, I was discussing with a fellow student how to counter another person’s “attack”. While we were experimenting with various kinds of counter attack, a very important point emerged. I forgot about me.

Everyone is unique. Everyone has his own way of doing Tai Chi. It follows from this logic that everyone also has his own way of counter attacking. One method that works for one person may not work for another. And we are talking about counter-attacking the same person. Although he was showing me his way of counter attack, I have to develop my own way as well. I can adapt from his, but I have to learn how my body moves which is more efficient for myself than for others.

A question of “how did you do it” becomes “how can I do it my way”. Do not follow blindly what the teacher is teaching. Learn the essence, and adapt it to yourself. The whole world will be better off that way because you are contributing your own perspective to the world.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I’ve never thought of arguing and fighting can be different. It is only recently that I realise the distinction, and that my interpretation of using Tai Chi is more of arguing than of fighting.

I have been doing Push Hands for 2 years now, once almost every week. I see push hands as an argument between two person. The best person wins by winning both the opponent and himself. I don’t see the point in fighting. I don’t see the need to win the other person by pushing the person down on the floor. I can do that everyday, most of the time, injuring myself in the process, without going through the motions of push hands. I would rather win by argument. There is chance of a win-win in an argument. There is no chance of a win-win in fighting. By fighting,  the best fighter wins with the first strike, thus incapacitating the opponent. The best argument does not break the opponent’s neck. The opponent can create a totally different argument to counter the best argument. The opponent can change the level of the argument thus trying to win by logic, change the intensity of the argument i.e. trying to win by emotion, or change the process of the argument when trying to win by his own character.

An argument can be won by all these three components, logic, emotion and character. In the context of push hands, the logic part will be technique. The emotion part will be anger (or the lack of anger actually, i.e. composure). The character part would be compassion and honesty. Understand these three components in you, and you will be able to see your own strengths and weaknesses in push hands. Capitalise on your strengths. Build around your weakness. You will see a better fighter in you, or a more persuasive fighter.

Now, I have still got a long way to go when it comes to arguing with the wife. Maybe my understanding will eventually extend to that level. For now, I’m just happy she’s on my side. She is really an instinctive arguer…

p/s: inspired from the book by Jay Heinrichs titled Thank You for Arguing – What Aristotle, Eminem and Homer Simpson can teach us about the art of persuasion.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I like to watch river flows. I like to watch how the water goes around the bend. I like to see how it effortlessly navigates around the rocks, whether they’re big or small. Water always seem to know how to flow. It knows that hitting the rocks head on will do it no good, so it finds the path of least resistance and go around it. Let’s face it. In the real world, the shortest distance between 2 points is not a straight line, it’s the distance of the path of least resistance. It is this path of least resistance that allows water to get from one end to the other end effortlessly.

I find that I’m always looking for this path of least resistance. During my days in my day job, my preferred problem solving method is through the path of least resistance. This is the path that less people will fight against. Some call it a compromise. Some label it win-win. I think it’s just the best way.

When coming up with processes or procedures, I also look for the path of least resistance. Let’s take something simple like filing. When a document requires filing, do you know where to file? Do you need to think of where to file? I have a ready home for things I need to file. This is my path of least resistance. It avoids the mental effort to even think of where to file. I just file it.

Looking to do something on a regular basis but never got round doing it? It’s because you haven’t found your path to least resistance yet. Say you want to exercise everyday, but you just can’t seem to do it. There’s always some excuse like no time or too much effort. These all are resistance. You’ll need to find a path round these resistances. I found out that the path of least resistance to practise my Tai Chi is in the morning.

It’s actually relatively easier to find the path of least resistance if I’m the only stakeholder. It gets more difficult as more people are involved. If I add just one more person into the equation, it will become that much more complicated. When I’m doing push hands with another person, when I can’t find this path of least resistance, I will create tension within myself as well, and hence creating my own resistance. If I don’t look for this path of least resistance, I myself become the resistance.

This seems to be key in our actions.

We can ignore this path of least resistance, but when faced with them head on, if you don’t use this path, you will create tension in you too. This is normally forgotten. You will think that it’s the other person who’s wrong. It’s the other person who’s giving this head butt. It’s the other person who erected a brick wall in front of you so that you cannot pass. More often than not, you are also guilty of erecting this brick wall.

So what if the other person builds a fortress around him? Just go around him. Let go of your own resistance.

The cliche that “communication is a two way process” still rings true. You can’t feel resistance from another person if you yourself do not create this resistance within yourself.

Let go of your own resistance. You might find it a lot easier to navigate the journey within yourself. You’ll also find it easier to then use this new path to create a new way of doing things. Actually, there is nothing new in this. The only thing new here, is you experiencing the power of letting go your own resistance. Stop fighting it. Start moving round the cracks.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I’ve talked a lot about letting go. I thought I was letting go, but I wasn’t. I still do the same things as my opponent do. I use the same mentality to overcome their incompetence. Making me as incompetent as they are.

I thought I was relaxing. I thought I was using less strength. I thought I was using less muscle. The worse part is, I thought I am better than them, because I’ve been at it for a while, so I shouldn’t be pushed around.

The thing is, i’m not using the teachings taught by my teacher. I’m not using the kind of internal strength required. My mind set is still largely external. I understand theoretically that I should be thinking internal. But when actually doing it, I struggle. And the worse part is? I don’t realise I struggle.

I thought I’m moving in the right direction. But actually, I do it like they do it.

In order to rise above the others, I need to have a higher expectation of myself. I need to ask more from myself. I cannot succumb to using their mentality to overcome their weakness. I need to let them push around. I cannot worry about winning. I need to lose.

I thought I wasn’t worried. I am. It’s still in me. I don’t know why I got it today. I just got it. I just got it that I am just like them.

However, I am glad that I got it now.

We are often told that to get into the game, we need to play by the rules. You get the rules, you get the game, and you get ahead. I think the important thing is to get the rules. However, we cannot play by the rules. The rules are set based on one of the truths. The rules are set based on one interpretation of the world. There are other interpretations. You have to journey within yourself to find your own. As Albert Einstein said:

You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I didn’t think I’m an overconfident person. In fact, I might have thought I am under-confident, until I took this test. I first read this from Ian Ayres’ Super Crunchers. So please humour yourself while you take this test. For each question, state the low point AND the high point. You cannot say “I have no idea”. You must be able to guess that the deepest point in the ocean is more than 2 inches and less than 100,000 miles (say).

1. What was Martin Luther King, Jr.’s age at death?
2. What is the length of the Nile River, in miles?
3. How many countries belong to OPEC?
4. How many books are there in the Old Testament?
5. What is the diameter of the moon, in miles?
6. What is the weight of an empty Boeing 747, in pounds?
7. In what year was Mozart born?
8. What is the gestation period of an Asian elephant, in days?
9. What is the air distance from London to Tokyo, in miles?
10. What is the deepest known point in the ocean, in feet?

Answers provided at the end of this post. Do play it. It’ll make the point I’m trying to make later more relevant. I was surprised at the result myself.

If all ten intervals include the correct answer, you’re under-confident. You can be 100% certain that Mozart was born between 200 B.C. and year 2000. But almost everyone who answers these questions has the opposite problem of overconfidence – they can’t help themselves from reporting ranges that are too small. People think they know more than they actually know. *

I have no problem with overconfident people. In fact, I would suggest some people to build more confidence in themselves! I’m more curious about the fact that this overconfidence is an unconscious decision.

As I’ve previously said, I didn’t think I’m an overconfident person, and yet, I got 5 wrong answers. Apparently, according to the book Super Crunchers (who quoted a test conducted by Ed Russo and Paul Schoemaker), most people missed 4 to 7 questions.

So what?

I think it highlighted an important observation in a lot of areas of our lives. Using my Tai Ji class as an example, people are often overconfident with their skills that they feel the need to teach it, whether it’s right or wrong. We can be so overconfident so much so that we try to brush aside other people’s ideas / opinions. Sometimes, it literally meant pushing aside the bodily force in a push hands contest, which firstly, is not a contest and secondly, is not push hands either.

I’ve been wondering why this is the case, only to find out that we’re all hard-wired to do this (as much as numbers can prove).

Can we rise above this overconfidence?

The book offered an example from someone who tried. He initially fell into it, but was soon quickly aware of what he’s doing and changed tack. I guess being aware is always a good first step, as with a lot of things. Just knowing that you’re overconfident can help you recognise the need to be humble to learn the things that are important to you.

Do try it in your learning experience. Share it here if you can.

Answers: (1) 39 years. (2) 4,187 miles. (3) 13 countries. (4) 39 books. (5) 2,160 miles. (6) 390,000 pounds. (7) 1756. (8) 645 days. (9) 5,959 miles. (10) 36,198 feet.

* This section is wholly quoted from the book Super Crunchers.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I use to admire people who can express their feelings and emotions through art, whether this is through songs, music, dance, martial art, sports, words etc. I like the control they show when releasing their emotions in whatever art form they choose. Now, I think the performing mind may be counter-productive to learning.

During performance, there could be 1001 things that may float through the mind. Well, during practice, other 1001 things may invade the thoughts as well, but there’s an added pressure when performing. Depending on the audience, we may think about the steps, the rhythm, the stage, the props, how the audience will think, will they like it, will the judges like it etc. All these thoughts will ultimately affect your performance.

I remember my first private lesson with my teacher, and it felt horrible. I was too eager to look good, and I eventually forgot my steps.

Similarly, during our push hands class, I do find some people trying to look good in front of others. To appear to be the more capable one, by landing someone on the floor or to the wall, like this guy over here. I find I learn more from people who does this, but doing it myself hinders my own quest to “search for the truth”.

When there’s an opportunity to perform in front of others, whether formally (like a competition or a stage performance), or informally (e.g. during group practice sessions), it’s useful as a focus for your own personal practice sessions. I found many people take part in competitions solely to force themselves to practise more, like a runner signing up for marathon so that he’ll run more.

While that may be a good thing, during the performance itself, the performing mind needs to be parked aside. You’re no longer performing. You’re doing what you can at that time. Never mind the audience, never mind the judges, never mind the students, never mind the teacher. Perform the truth, and the art will flow. Other things will take care of itself. If it’s not your time, it’s not your time. Do enjoy yourself when performing. Do enjoy yourself when practising too. It may be the only time you’re truthful to yourself.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

How to stand?

We get asked this from beginners quite a lot. Often, they’ll stumble about, and try to mimic what we’re doing. And then some may ask. Others, we’ll have to volunteer the information.

The truth is, I don’t even know the proper / correct way to stand. I think the general idea is there. I used to think that the standard rules apply e.g. you should stand shoulder width apart when beginning. And for bow stances (that’s where one leg has more of the weight and is more crooked than the other leg), the feet will form a sort of ‘L’ shape with plenty of space in between the feet (as much space as your leg can take).

Nowadays, I don’t try to tell the standard rule, if it’s at all standard. I let the person decide. I have seen different people standing differently. I think the stand is meant to be different for different people depending on the body structure, the weight, the flexibility. I think we still need to train to our own specifications. So my question is normally,

how do you feel?

And if the student is feeling uncomfortable, i would say:

why don’t you try this?

“This” can be one of the following – relax the kua, relax the knees, relax the ankles, point your feet a little bit more inwards / outwards, shift your weight a little more to the left / right, keep your body straight, point your knees a little bit more inwards / outwards, keep your head straight, relax the neck, relax the shoulders etc etc etc…

I find this easier than handing out a standard prescription like “you must stand like me”. Suggesting minor corrections (1 or 2 would be more than sufficient) is easier to swallow for the student, because it’s still a suggestion. It’s better for the student, because he/she will need to think and feel around to see what works, and hence able to actually learn something rather than being spoon-fed.

How would you approach such a question?

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

I seem to be getting a bit of a celebrity treatment here. We have quite a few beginners joining our push hands class as a result of an article which came out in the newspaper. These students are now ogling at how relaxed I am, how smooth my actions look, how I manage to wiggle my way out from a tight spot. How I even have a “masters move” to escape the incoming force.

It’s all a bit flattering, but I know myself. My level is still quite a far cry from my teacher’s. I need to practise really hard to get to his level (read this article to get a sense of how hard…). Even if the practice is there, it’ll take a “great leap of imagination” to proceed one level up. It’s not about the things you can do. It’s about the things you cannot do. It’s the space in between these words that give words meaning. It’s the space in a bottle that gives bottle it’s usefulness. The tomb will say 1936 – 2010. It’s the space in between those years that defines the person in the tomb.

I used to think that it’s the things you do that defines you. Now, I think the things that you don’t do will also define you. Afraid to take the next step? That’ll define your life. Afraid to grab hold of the opportunity in front of you? The missed opportunities will define you. You’ll be asking all the what ifs. These what ifs will absorb your life.

Can you consciously move into the spaces? Instead of moving into the next rung, the next step, can you move into the space? Is this what space is?

No. You’ll have to respect the spaces. The spaces are there to make sense of the next object. Without those spaces, the objects occupying the space wouldn’t make sense. However, you can consciously create the space in between, so that the objects are more defined. Just like how I’m writing this post. There’s a space in between the words, and a bigger space in between paragraphs.

I have also consciously created a space for me to think. I quit my day job. I’ve freed up more time for me to think and reflect. I’ve created a larger “space out” time.

Going back to the push hands class, some students are eager, which is good when learning. But you’ll have to respect the spaces in between the learning stages. The spaces are there to help you. If the next stage of learning seems to far away, that’s because it is. You either create a stage which is more achievable, or master the current stage you’re at now. So the trick is to create a smaller space in which to leap over.

Once you’ve understood the spaces, you understand how far you need to go before the next leap. You’ll need to work hard. Some spaces are huge, which you must also respect. Leaping across a great chasm will mean certain death, whether a physical death, or a death in interest in Tai Ji.

Respect the spaces, and you will progress further.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

It was amazing. I haven’t seen so many people in a class before, for push hands at least. The class room seems small in comparison. All these people were curious about what push hands is. My teacher looked a bit taken aback by the enthusiasm, but managed the crowd eventually nonetheless. A few of us took in some of the new students to show what push hands feel like.

One person, in particular, seem to come here for a challenge. I sensed his hand, and I knew he knew what he was doing, so I kept quiet and just push. After he realise my skill was below his, he started bragging and teaching. He thinks his technique is superb, and was showing why I should do this and shouldn’t do that. By “this”, he means I should be using 2 hands to spread the “attack” in a single handed push hands. And I shouldn’t be moving my kua much. He was standing almost upright, as if trying to mock me I guess… (he said it himself actually – “look! look at my posture!”).

I felt a bit bullied, but I kept on because I actually found it fun to be trying out different people. He did push me off to the wall at one point. I reiterated with one myself which almost hit someone else. Then he became more aggressive. And I just stopped. I just told him my teacher would not condone such practice. Which is true. He stopped amicably as well.

An otherwise uneventful session I suppose.

Now, I don’t know why some people do this, but I guess this is common throughout the martial art history. I probably have gotten a mild treatment already! I do find it sad that people define themselves by how much he can overpower the other person, but at the same time, I’m glad to be seeing these other things. I might have been cooped up for a while now. Time to spread the wings.

There was also a 70 year old lawyer in the midst who part timed in “energy psychology”. Then she showed me some tapping exercise. Apparently cured blindness once.

If you like what you read, you can follow me on RSS, by email, on Twitter, or on Facebook.