The Journey Within

There are different degrees of enriching uranium. You can enrich uranium to such a high grade that it can turn into a nuclear bomb. You can also choose to enrich it to a degree suitable for a power plant, producing electricity enough to power a city, a town, a village, a house, a room, a computer, a calculator, a light bulb…

The cost of enriching uranium is high. So to enrich uranium to power just a light bulb may not make economic sense. But the point is, there is a choice to the level of enrichment.

There are times when we choose to enrich ourselves through additional courses, additional work, additional challenges. As we look within ourselves, we want to improve on certain aspects of ourselves. Be it a new language, a new skill, or a new habit. We can also choose to polish our existing skills e.g. writing, communication, negotiation, sales, etc.

As with uranium enrichment, there is a choice to the level of your own enrichment. You don’t need to be the next Einstein. You don’t need to be the next Carnegie. You don’t need to be the next Warren Buffet or the next Steve Jobs. What you need to be, is to be you.

I love enriching myself. If possible, I would like to speak 10 different languages, memorise the world history better than google, able to run a marathon without loosing breath or aching legs, draw like Picasso, understand science like Richard Feynman, solve problems like Leonardo Da Vinci…

But I’m not these. I may be some of these, but I’m not all of these. I’m me. And it’s not a bad thing. The uranium enriched power plant is still producing electricity power capable of powering a small nation. The level of my own enrichment is still useful. I just need to find the right location for this power plant.

So, do you aspire to be a nuclear bomb or a power plant?

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“Think outside the box!” This has become a business mantra. It’s so abused that I wonder if the people chanting them knows what box are they talking about! Do they realise what does the box mean? How does the box relate to thinking? Hey, it’s just a box, whether you’re thinking inside it or outside it. So what’s so special about this box?

I think people have forgotten what this box represents. Nobody journeys within the box anymore. We are all just too eager to think outside the box, only to realise that we have never actually understood what the box is. We don’t take our time to understand the behaviour of the box, what is the box made of, what can the box carry… We sometimes don’t even know the size of the box!

The box is meant to define the edges of a problem. When we are trying to solve a problem, we’ll need to know exactly what problem it is that we’re trying to solve! It sounds obvious but that’s where the box comes in. Let’s say I have an email problem. Now, an “email” is actually not a problem. So you’ll have to be a bit more specific than that. So I say, I receive a lot of emails. Good. It’s more specific, but again, that’s still not a problem. Receiving a lot of emails do not qualify it to be a problem. Everybody receives emails. So what is your problem? Let’s say, I can’t cope with the daily emails I received. Now, this statement has defined the problem a bit more. It has given some edges to the box. We have the problem words “can’t cope” and we have a time dimension to the problem as well (daily). Let’s face it. If time is not an issue, we don’t actually have much problems in this world…

Although “cope” may still be a bit vague, it is sufficient for it to become a problem to me. This is how the box is defined. This is only when you can think outside the box, or if you choose to, even tear up the box. Make daily emails a non-issue. For example, you can remove your email address altogether. Life as a virtual hermit does give a sense of peacefulness.

From that extreme, you can choose to delete your emails as you get them. Be as ruthless with them as possible. Report more emails to be spam if it’s the newsletters you can’t seem to unsubscribe. You can always politely unsubscribe them first. You can filter your emails to go straight to a black hole folder. For the really important stuff, you can do them first, or assign an action label to them e.g. Review, Read, Reply, Call someone etc and do them later (at some pre-defined time slot that you set aside daily).

All these thinking can only happen AFTER you’ve defined the box. It can only happen only when you see the box, or make the box visible. An email problem can be a very large box like “I can’t seem to get rid of the million of emails in my current inbox”, or “I think it’s because I procrastinate whenever an email comes to my inbox”. In this case, you’ve actually defined 2 problems – 1 about your current state of affairs, the second one is how to deal with all emails in future, as they come in.

See how important it is to define the box?

So, whenever someone ask you to think outside the box, spend a few minutes to think inside the box first. Venture into the box. Try to see the box. Define the box. Appreciate why the box exists in the first place. Search the box. Examine the box. Understand the box. The box may be bigger than you think. The material may be more flexible than you think.

Only then you can “think outside the box” (whatever that means…)

You can stretch the box. Deform the box. Make the box smaller. It’s all a matter of perception. Then, “thinking outside the box” is just a by-product of your thought process. There is actually no box.

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I dreamt I killed someone, and it’s not the first dream I had on this murder. As vivid as the dream is, I still couldn’t quite see who the victim was, until recently. It’s a realisation rather than being there again to witness the murder. The victim – was me.

Death has been a strong theme for me this week – the death of my 100 year old grandmother, the death of me, even the book I’m reading features death quite prominently (The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown). I spent almost a week going through the proceedings of my grandmother’s death, conducted very much like the business of death I wrote earlier. However, this time, I feel different.

I am not close to my grandmother, but her strength to live past the century mark gives great courage to all the living people around her. I think that’s what the proceedings are all about, it’s for the living to accept her death, but more importantly, it’s for the living to celebrate life! To remind us that death is inevitable, but it takes great will to live a long and full life.

I believe my dream is to strengthen this message – the will to live a strong and full life. Sometimes you must let go the life you had planned in order to make room for the life ahead of you. I believe that was why I killed myself. I killed my past me to release the future me.

My dream on death was a vivid dream, filled with remorse, guilt, the feeling that I can’t let go and clinging grudgingly to the past life. To experience death in my dream might be the kindest death experience to anyone, if you need to realise the importance of living fully through death. I hope you don’t have to wait till the real thing to realise the importance of living fully.

Some books on the wisdom of death and how to make full use of the present, the now.

• Tuesdays with Morrie
• The Last Lecture
• The Final Exam: A Surgeon’s Reflections on Mortality
• The Now Habit
• The Power of Now

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I know the mantra. We should all work smart. I mean, who doesn’t want to work smart? Who doesn’t want to work shorter hours, be less stress, work more effectively, be more productive, etc. It sounds like it’s the only way to work! Working hard is just stupid. There should be just one type of work, and that is work smart. And yet, we all still work harder than ever… Continue reading »

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Somehow, the “learn to say no” speaks much to me recently. A diagram by Bud from whatconsumesme.com.

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I heard a story yesterday which I would like to share with you. I met a principal of a school and chatted with him for a while. I asked him what made him choose to start his school when his first choice was becoming a priest!. His story went like this…

“I was crossing the road at the traffic lights and saw a blind man. I thought of leading the blind man across the road but I said to myself, maybe someone else will do it. The next day, I met the same man wanting to cross the road. So I said to myself, maybe he will feel insulted if I help him. And the same blind man appeared again the next day. Right, (I said to myself), if you’re going to help him, help him now. Just because you’re there. You don’t need to come up with any more excuses.

So he helped him cross the road, and founded a school for the disabled. It was not done immediately, but over the past 5 years, his school has been growing. His school now is training teachers to help and identify students with special needs. He went on to say that everyone of us has a choice to change the society for the better. Inspired by an article in Innovations, I’ve adapted a title from an article in there… Everyone is a Changemaker.

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You may have noticed that my blog page has changed a little bit. I’ve added another column to show off some of the books I read and also an advertisement column to see if there’s actually money to be made here!

I found out that it was quite difficult to do a 3 column page, without learning the programming language required. And guess how I eventually did it? Relentless search!! It’s not so much what you know these days, it’s whether you know how to look for your answer. I’ve managed to find a site with the code readily available, just copy and paste. Then there was some bug which I can’t quite seem to get rid off. I was scrolling through the code to find the bug, and guess where the solution came from? Searching for it! I wished I would have searched for it earlier, as others already knew about the bug and a solution was already in place.

I’ve blogged about not requiring the dictionary anymore (see The A to Z song). We don’t even need to know the phonetics in the dictionary to find out how to pronounce that particular word. Just search the word and an audio clip will let you know how to pronounce it!

I’ve known an IT friend who’s first call when faced with a PC problem, is to Google it. And an IT specialist might do the same and charge you for it! So the next time you have a problem with your PC, google it first before you call the engineer. You might find the solution quicker than going through the merry-go-round that is the call centre… “Please press 1 if the answer is not here, press 2 if you’re not paying for your answer, press 3 to speak to another answering machine…”

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I’ve been in Malaysia/Singapore almost 3 weeks having moved from Scotland. Spent most of the first 2 weeks recovering from fever and indigestion. It’s like the climate here is rejecting me! Trying to flush me out of the system… Of course, I fought back, using a method inspired by Mahatma Ghandi – abstaining from food. Ok, not that extreme, but I did cut down on my diet.

There were plenty of times that I wanted to eat more than what I’ve been eating. And to eat the things I want to eat. Doctor said I should stay away from dairy products, spicy food and sour food – which just about remove all the most “interesting” food! It does make me wonder how much do we actually need to eat?

I’m lucky that I’m not struggling to get my 3 meals a day. In fact, I can afford to eat more than 3 meals a day, and plenty of sides with them! Being forced to maintain a simpler diet does make me question how much do I actually need to eat everyday?

I don’t expend plenty of energy during the day. Now that I’m not working, my brain activity has reduced (which I was told is a significant energy drainer!). As for physical activities, apart from my daily Tai Ji in the morning, I’ve got the occasional badminton and table tennis in the evenings. Nothing back breaking. So, how much do I really need to eat?

I’ve been experimenting with less food everyday, just to see how long I can last before hunger hits. I’m actually surprised that I can do with much much less than I used to eat! Almost half as much. Maybe it’s the change in climate where a warmer climate does not need that much food to keep the core temperature up.

However, I have to say that most of the reason I eat more than I need is psychological! I don’t need the chocolate fudge cake at the end of the meal, that’s just too much. I don’t need to eat at 11 o’clock at night, just go to bed! And sometimes when I do eat, I choose to eat more than what I intended because of all the temptations placed on the table!

So, I guess I can actually choose to eat less, but my toungue tells me otherwise. I can remove all the temptations on the table, but that’ll be just rude to the others around the table. So, torn between heart and logic, is there no solution to this?

Inspired by a book i’ve read called “Slow“, maybe we can slow down our food intake. This will let the tongue savour the taste longer and will also allow the food taken to be fully digested before more is taken in. We are actually allowing the stomach a chance to put up the sign saying “FULL” when it’s full, not when it’s almost full but a lot more is coming down the throat but got stuck in the digestive traffic.

If you do try this, let me know if it does work. Just don’t eat when you’re really hungry. Eat at the same time you ate yesterday, the same time as everyday.

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So why after all these years, i’m suddenly declaring to become a student again?

First, I like being a student. It’s got its own special aura to it. You don’t need to act like you know something (which in fact you don’t!). You don’t need to feel stupid or ignorant because you’re both simultaneously! And the best part is, you get to ask all the silly questions and make all the mistakes you can think of, and no one will think less of you, or be annoyed at you!

However, I have to say that the biggest incentive to become a student is the humility that follows it. Most learning adults, after being at it for a while, will come to a point where they feel they know a lot already and hence stop improving, stop learning. It is this hole i’m trying to avoid falling into.

I’ve also been “at it” for a number of years. Yet, i felt like I’ve not actually grasp the fundamentals! The basics are normally the most difficult to grasp, despite the name “basic”.

So, be a student. You will feel lighter and more open to new ways. It keeps everything you try to learn fresh as you’ll be always questioning. And hence you’ll be always learning, always improving…

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Tai Ji is popular in Malaysia, which is where I was born. However, it’s always got that senior citizen stigma attached to it. When you’re a teenager, I wouldn’t brag or be seen that I was doing Tai Ji. It’s uncool and certainly not something I would tell girls about! At that age, anything not cool was not girl-friendly! It was only when I was doing university in Scotland that I first started doing Tai Ji, or more commonly known there as Tai Chi. I was 20 then.

Starting to learn anything new has its ups and downs moments. The upside is that you get to learn something new, meet new people and feel like a student in school again. The downside unfortunately, is also each and everyone of those things, learning something new (starting again), meeting new people (that you probably want to avoid) and feel like a student in school again (being corrected for every single mistake you make, feeling stupid and ignorant). It is very much a case of how you view it, a glass half full or half empty.

So why is starting something new so difficult? We can come up with a variety of reasons e.g. not cool, no shoes, no proper attire, no place to learn, no teacher, no motivation, no buddy to go with, no interest but forced to learn (by husband/wife/childern, by health or the lack of!), learning place too far, don’t like the people there, no result, too hot, too cold etc. The list just goes on and on, limited only by your own imagination.

Why not put this imagination into better use and focus on the outcome you want to achieve rather than the excuses for not achieving? By imagining the result, you’re building a goal for yourself, something to aspire to. By imagining excuses, you’re chaining yourself to a rock. With each new excuse, you’re adding another layer to the rock, making it harder and harder to move on, to start. One day, you’ll find yourself so reluctant to move that no amount of persuasion will let you leave your rock. You’ve become the rock!

So if you’ve built yourself a large rock, the first step is to stop adding more layers to the rock. Stop giving yourself more excuses not to start. Remember, more excuses, bigger rock! Lugging a big rock around is heavy, even though it’s metaphorical. You will feel its weight everytime you feel like starting but just can’t seem to motivate yourself to. It feeds on your negativity and becomes stronger as your will power becomes weaker. So stop feeding it. Your negative thoughts are its food.

Then, start chipping away at the rock by imagining the outcome you want. Removing layer upon layer by thinking the positive things you want to achieve like better health, expanding your social circle, meeting like-minded people, having strong legs, build stamina, feel good at work, feel motivated in life etc. Slowly but surely, your rock will reduce in size.

However, the key to each of these steps is to start. If you’re like me, you’ll probably need something to jump-start that engine. I set my alarm to go off at 6 in the morning today and forced myself to wake up eventhough it’s a weekend. Once out there in the open, all the laziness just fade away as soon as I start doing and stop thinking of excuses. Find something drastic that you need to do to jump-start your engine. All you need is that one time. So, stop reading this and go out now! Do come back some time today

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