The Journey Within

I have lost a few articles because of some server problems from my website host. I have been trying to contact them but no reply so far. I guess I will be switching host soon, but not soon enough because there is another half a year to go (I think). So if you know a good reliable host, please let me know.

I will be reposting some old articles, but I did lose one entirely. I have used Wordpress as my backup, but didn’t backup diligently enough to maintain an offline copy. Most of the time, I just write on a simple Text software (to avoid distractions) and delete it immediately once I have published the article. This has given me tremendous power to focus on just writing the article itself, without getting distracted on what pictures to go with it, what font it should be, what links to go with it, facebook, emails etc. I can’t recommend this enough if you want total distraction free writing. Just choose the simplest text editor program. Don’t even bother with Microsoft Word. Notepad on Windows and TextEdit on Mac would do just fine.

However, now I come to a dilemma of not having an offline version. I thought of using my Journal to draft my writings first before posting, but I didn’t want to go through the hassle of setting this up on my journal. I love the simplicity of having nothing else but blank space in front of me while I fill it with words. Editing can come later.

This was one of the major lessons from Nanowrimo. I did not have time to do any editing at all. So I just write. And boy did I write. There are times when I was really tired, and words still came out, although I didn’t recognise what I was writing at all. I was in between the sleep and wake state of mind. This was what I wrote:

One day, I pushed a woman accidentally, but the tribe push trough the love camp and came back to sit and explore. They seem to possess the power of healing. They seem to be able to make sure that none of us is her match, and our main source of fuel is armed in the peoples’ latest receipt.

If you are able to decipher this, let me know.

For Nanowrimo, because I was writing everywhere (physically), I chose Google Document as my platform. You can choose to work offline for Google Docs as well if you have Google Gears installed. You can also “Hide Controls” which gives you a bigger screen estate as you write, the blank canvas that I was talking about.

Coming back to how to write on a reliable platform, I have gone back to using my Journal program. That is backed up on a weekly basis. At least now there is a version which is not linked or synchronised with any other platform. My dumping project has to do with technology as well, and I will be hunting for more stress free writing. I could always pick up a pen and paper. Hmmm… that’s a thought.

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Try it. Be bold. Be specific. You might find out more about yourself. Plus, you can have fun too.

I am so relieved to have written 50,000 words in 30 days. I joined Nanowrimo 2009, and have just crossed the finishing line! In the midst of writing all these words, it actually germinated some ideas on the tools of journeying within. One of it is coming up with a fictional newspaper article.

I have heard of writing an eulogy for myself, before I die of course. It is a tool to discover what you really want yourself to be before you die. It is a strong and powerful tool, but sometimes, it may be just a little bit too morbid.

So I opted for a more light-hearted way to do this, and to restrict the timeline within a few years. You could of course stretch this to decades later, or reduce this further to tomorrow’s headlines. The idea, is to imagine.

Just imagine what a newspaper would report about youself. You have read plenty of newspaper articles before. Come up with a headline. Write a summary of what it is in the first paragraph. Write very specifically what it is that has happened and how has that changed you. Write a concluding paragraph as well.

I wrote something about myself in 6 years’ time, imagining that I am this successful investor. I wrote something specific about what has happened, i.e. buying a controlling stake in a company. The numbers may not actually buy a controlling stake of an airline company, but it is large enough to me that it makes little difference.

The key to this is to imagine a specific event that happens to you. This event is something that you would like to see yourself tomorrow, 3 days from now, 1 week from now, 1 month from now, a year from now, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years etc. By writing something specific, you create a very vivid picture about yourself. You create a very specific moment about yourself. This mental picture will help you to see within you what you actually want. This mental snapshot of the future will give you a polaroid photograph that you can see again and again to remind you of the the exact thing that you want to achieve in 5 years’ time (say).

Try it. Be bold. Be specific. You might find out more about yourself. Plus, you can have fun too.

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Also known as soul searching. I first came across these words more than 10 years ago. I didn’t understand what soul searching mean. I still don’t understand what it means until I’m doing it myself now. I realise it’s the space that we need to think about love, work, life and all the actions in between.

Anyway, what I find helpful these days, is to jot down the things that tickle the inner me, things that excite me, things that I wouldn’t mind doing, no matter how trivial, things that I find funny, things that I find useful. So I came up with a (growing) list of things like:

• cute small paper bags
• snap on watches
• books
• Richard Feynman
• foldable bikes
• anthropology
• Charlie Munger

What’s on your list?

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I’m not sure if this is a common misunderstanding, but I thought I bring it up anyway to find out more from the community.

I have come to realize that some people try to learn techiques rather than try to learn the skill. They relish in the satisfaction of knowing more and more techniques, without actually learning the skill.

Is that possible? Isn’t knowing more techniques a sign of increasing your skill?

I suppose certain techniques require a different level of skill set to perform. But that’s not the point, and should not be used as the reason to perfect the technique. We should instead focus on perfecting the skill rather than the technique.

Take push hands for example. There are many ways to counter attack a person. Most ways I’ve seen are not truly using the softness of Tai Chi. Most people rely on knowing a certain way to move their hands or a certain way to turn their body and when this is perfected, they are able to wait and anticipate when to execute this technique. After this one technique, they start to accumulate other techniques and will eventually pass off this collection of techniques as skill.

While this is useful and may seem to work on the outside, it misses the whole point of learning Tai Chi.

We’ve heard of formlessness, i.e. using non-specific moves. This is when you’ve perfected an art and do not need to actually use any partiular form of that art to show that you truly understand the art. With such good understanding, you are then able to apply the art in more ways than one.

But formlessness do start with the existence of “form” to realize the power of “no form”. This is why we learn Tai Chi form first before learning the art. This is why we learn the notes of music before expressing music. This is why I learn the alphabets and some words first before writing a post like this. I don’t need a large vocabulary to write what I write. I just need to understand the words and then string them together to tell you this story.

I believe this is true for any art, and should form the reason for learning the art. So don’t just be a collector of techniques. Learn the true art.

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I thought I would start to include some interesting pictures with the new theme (see article on wordpress upgrade), to make this space feel more like reading a magazine. I guess the content started to disappear, while I spent my time hunting for some good pictures to go with the theme. Today, I ended up changing the theme altogether so that I can focus on writing, something I enjoy more than hunting for pictures. I should have done this a long time ago. This is my first post in the month of October, which is really bad for someone who likes to write…

Hope you like the new look, and I’ll get back to writing more. Happy Halloween!

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It has been a while since I last wrote anything creative. Most of my writings have been dull unexciting pieces of junk that passed as compliant writing at work. BOOOORING!!! I can’t imagine writing any more of that without some other outlet. I’m not saying I’m a very creative person, but I was once told that if you don’t use any part of your brain for any period of time, that part will deteriorate. I guess if conventional wisdom still holds true i.e. that the right brain controls creativity, my right brain must be shrinking to the size of a peanut (assuming it was larger than a peanut previously). See what I mean by compliant writing? Even the size of my peanut has a disclaimer.

How can someone actually miss writing? It’s only one of the many actions that can be performed anytime, any day. There are tonnes of other daily actions that can be done, limited only by your imagination. But why miss writing? Something must be bottling up inside. Something that needs to be released. But what?

It’s that time of the year again – performance appraisal. I haven’t been through that in a while. For the past year since I last started my job, I haven’t given that much thought. No thought = no record. I haven’t been keeping record of my performance, just enjoying the work I do. I suppose someone must be keeping track of my work. I guess I will find out soon. How am I suppose to enjoy work now? Now that I know I’m going to be measured every step I take, every fart I make?

My mum is a boss. She works in her very own company. And they do appraisals as well. So when I asked how does she like the appraisals, my mum gave me the most honest answer I’ve heard of so far – it’s just a waste of time, it’s obvious who’s performing and who’s not. My kudos to that statement. I suppose for bigger companies, that might be difficult, but I’m sure at least 1 person will know what the other does. So why appraise anyway?

I guess one good thing about the appraisal is that it triggers my creative juices again. I have to be creative to make the seemingly trivial tasks seem appropriate, useful even, and makes a difference to the value I add to the company. It was tough at first, but once the lingo gets going, it’s quite difficult to stop. I talked about when my communication was good, when I improved the security of our files, when I organised the workflow, when I was the key person developing the campaign etc. Now all I have to know is – will my boss see through the smoke screen? It was a good smoke nonetheless…

To be continued…

Another disclaimer: This post should not be reproduced in any form. In particular, this post CANNOT be used against the author in any way. Legal action will be taken if this post was found in any particular form, referenced to the author, especially if it affects the outcome of the author’s appraisal. In the latter scenario, ILLEGAL action may also be taken.

One more disclaimer: Any illegal action taken cannot be referenced to the author of this post. There is no direct link that illegal actions performed are in any direct relation to this author.

One last disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This refers to both the post and its disclaimers (except the last). Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

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I was so looking forward to the book fair organised by the library to sell off their old books. I guess my efforts to wake up early pales in comparison to the people that have already formed what seemed to be the endless legs of a caterpillar. And that was before it opened! To be fair, all books were selling at $2 per book, hence the crowd.

I tried to weave into the crowd, but I guess the tapestry that is human just proved to be too stubborn. Instead of fighting, I went to sections where there were less people. This was where I came across a book, the only book that I bought in the fair. With a title like Writing as a Healing Art, it just hooked me right from the start.

I haven’t finish reading it yet, but it did prompt me to revisit why I started this blog in the first place. When I first started out, it was meant to be a reminder. To remind me of the things that are important in life, to make me more aware of the things that are important in life. It slowly evolved into an outlet for my mind, a place to park my thoughts. Sometimes, it’s also a place for discussion with others. Sometimes, it’s just pure fun.

With the ever changing identity of the blog, why do I keep writing? Why do YOU keep writing? Is there a reason for the constant chatter in the blogosphere that requires your fingers’ attention to tap out what you’re thinking on the keyboard? To let others have a piece of your mind? Or could it be to find peace of mind?

Writing can heal. This is what the book suggests. Writing connects yourself with your mind. It allows you to express what you didn’t know about yourself, if you let it. The braver you are, the more you’ll find out about yourself, the more you can heal yourself.

I think this is what I’ve been trying to do, unconsciously. I’ve been using the blog to heal myself, by allowing my thoughts to run freely, more freely than it can in the brain. I guess when your thoughts are inside, they are just caged up and rattle randomly inside. Sometimes, some part of it gets let out but then there’s nothing coherent about the escapees. Through writing, you commit yourself to let it out and stay out. To stand up to scrutiny in the outside world. Not anyone’s scrutiny, but your own scrutiny. We are a prison of our own thoughts, unless we are willing to release the prisoners, they will just be serving a life-long sentence with no chance to ever get a pardon. Now that just sounds like a very cruel thing to do to yourself!

So if you’ve ever wanted to start your blog, please do so. If you don’t like the “publicity”, just start your own personal journal in a diary, like the good old days. Just remember to write. Allow yourself at least the chance to know yourself better. Who knows, when trying to know yourself better, you can then start healing yourself, and healing others in the process!

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Thanks to Sum and Kea, I found out that my post on self-help was published in The Star in Malaysia! Another RM50 in the bag. See snapshot courtesy of Sum’s camera phone.

BUT, i’ve got a slight rant here… they’ve edited my article!! The post I submitted was like this, but they’ve chopped and changed it to become like this! I feel it has taken away the flavour of the article. Was going to post this in their blog, but it might get censored anyway. Maybe the RM50 is a sweetener.

p/s: even the title was changed!

pp/s: maybe if you leave some comments in their blog they might think otherwise? unless if you happen to agree with their censorship…

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My dad used a very interesting analogy when bringing his phone to the repair shop. Because my dad couldn’t reproduce the fault, the repairman was not convinced that there was anything wrong with it. So my dad said:

“Look, I’ll only bring in the phone when it’s sick. If it’s not sick, why would I bring the phone to see the doctor?”

The repairman laughed and was suddenly more willing to make the necessary arrangements to take a look at the phone in detail. Humour works… only when used in the right context! Some may not find it funny, or even find it offensive, as there’s some sarcasm hidden in it. Different people, different sense of humour. But what I found most interesting, was the way we describe inanimate objects behaving like human.

A phone is… well just a phone. It doesn’t feel anything. It doesn’t cry. It doesn’t fall sick. It doesn’t feel happy at certain times and angry at other times. It doesn’t feel sleepy or sluggish in the afternoon after lunch. It doesn’t even take lunch. Yet we use these very terms to describe our phone.

1. If it’s running low on battery power, it hasn’t got enough juice. (Phone doesn’t drink.)
2. If it works only at certain times, it’s tempremental. (The phone has no emotions.)
3. If you really hate your phone, you want to kill it! (The phone can’t “die”, technically.)
4. If your phone is no longer working, or the battery power has been used up, or you’re out of your phone’s network coverage, the phone is dead. (See 3.)
5. We dress our phone with covers to “protect” it. (It won’t feel warmer with clothes on.)
6. You change the “skins” of the phone so that it matches more to your personality. (Sounds very much like some couple, with their own matching “HIS t-shirt” and “HER t-shirt”.)

Humanising the phone is helpful to describe the condition of the phone. We are more attuned to how the body feels, and hence we apply the same analogy when describing it to other people. It has a very immediate impact, just like how the repairman understood what my dad said. It also shows how intimate you are with your phone. The more personalised it is, the more you can’t live without your phone! So… how much do you love your phone?

When speaking or writing, we normally unconsciously adopt the same technique. Humanising an object or a situation helps to convey our message across more quickly and effectively. For example, I normally say “the atmosphere is tense” instead of “everyone in the room feels angry and upset but nobody is making a single sound”.

However, sometimes we require the opposite to make us feel better, or feel more in control of the situation. Like how the police will rattle off a report to his boss “accident at 0400 hours, one male aged 23 and one female aged 19, no fatal injury”. The police has effectively “mechanised” the way he speaks to his higher-ranking officer. This way of speaking provides a certain detachment to the current situation. Detachment is sometimes useful, especially when emotions are involved, like how a business mechanises the process of a funeral, mechanisation helps deal with death.

These are the tools we can choose to use whenever we need them. Humanisation or mechanisation. No one technique is more superior to the other. No one technique should be favoured over the other. We require both to function. We have the choice to call upon whichever that suits our particular situation. Just choose wisely.

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I’ve got RM50 in the post yesterday.. woo hoo!! Ok, it’s the only financial award i’ve received so far from an article. It’s a start. The post was on Losing my identity. No wonder the article generated some comments. Check them out at The Star! So do you have any suggestions on which article I should post in? Please let me know the ones that truly speak to you. And if you have any idea of a tag line i should put for this website, please let me know as well!

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